


Tattoos and Piercings

by dammedchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bad boy cas, Cheating, F/M, Fluff, High School AU, Piercings, Sexual Content, Smut, Tattoos, Underage Drinking, fights?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 09:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammedchester/pseuds/dammedchester
Summary: You’ve been friends with the Novak twins, Anna and Samandriel for years, and of course, come to befriend their older brother. The tattooed, punk Senior who everyone adores. Now in grade 11, you’re still the best of friends with the Novaks. Between your recent breakup with Dean Winchester and the notorious Halloween party thrown by Charlie quickly approaching, you’re totally not freaking out. And Cas is totally not hitting on you. He wouldn’t do that. Especially since he and Dean are best friends. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote a while ago, just never posted it on here. Always had a thing for Punk!Cas and the whole Bad Boy arc. I know I'm not the only one. Please leave comments and Kudos! Not beta read because I don't have one at the moment so hopefully there's not many mistakes.

Sitting at your lunch table, surrounded by friends, you held the flyers for Charlie’s Halloween party tightly in your hands. You hated that she made you do this stuff for her. She had always been extra when it came to her parties, always making such a big deal, getting the whole school excited. 

Anna was to your left, talking to her twin Samandriel about something their father had said. Ash, Charlie, and Kevin were to your right, typing away on their computers in attempt to see who could hack into the schools router first. Sam and Jessica were arguing over something, no doubt something about Sam’s new girlfriend Ruby. You stared at the table a few yards down from your own, dread pouring through your veins.

“Darling, you seem tense, what’s the matter?” Balthazar asked you, his hand finding it’s way to your lower back. You jumped at the contact, not that it made you uncomfortable. Balthazar and yourself had always had a friendly yet flirty relationship. You looked into his icy blue eyes and gave him a small smile.

“I’ve been better” you said honestly, twisting the flyers in your sweaty palms.

“It’s my turn to hand these out to…everyone” You said again, throwing another look towards Balthazar who smiled in understanding.

“Ah, you finally got tired of looking into those delectable green globes” he stated and you rolled your eyes, adjusting your position in your seat. Balthazar sighed and twirled a strand of your hair in his fingers.

“It’s been weeks Y/N, I know that asshole hurt you, but I think it’s time you forget about him” Balthazar muttered into your ear so no one else could hear.

“How am I supposed to forget about him when he goes to the same school as me and I sit with his little brother every day at lunch” You said, you voice louder than you intended it to be, causing a few heads to turn your way. Sam’s was the only gaze you caught, his face flushed red with the expression of a kicked puppy. You gave him an apologetic smile though his expression barely changed. You felt all too guilty, it wasn’t Sam’s fault that his brother was a dick, and it wasn’t fair for you to take it out on him. You made a mental note to make it up to him soon and turned your attention back to Balthazar.

You opened your mouth to speak but a loud commotion on the other side of the cafeteria caught your attention. Your conversation with your friend long forgotten when you saw what was happening and who was involved. Your heart raced at the sight of him and your hands gripped at the flyers even tighter. You heard Anna and Samandriel mutter a simultaneous “Shit” at the sight of their older brother covered in some kind of liquid that drenched his dark shirt.

Castiel Novak, senior, tattoos, piercings, and the body of a well-trained athlete, basically the exact boy parents hope their daughters don’t bring home. His whole demeanor screamed intensity. You knew him through your many trips to Anna’s house over the many years that you’ve known her. He was the reason you met Dean, being that they were best friends and he was always at the Novak house when you were.

Your throat felt tight as you watched the confrontation; Castiel’s fists clenched tightly as he glared at the boy in front of him. The kid looked terrified, probably because he had spilled his drink all over Castiel. You’ve known Cas for long enough to know that this wasn’t going to end well.

Castiel cocked back his arm, the tattoos on his biceps flexing as he did so. Your feet were taking you closer to his before you even realized you were moving. You could hear your friends behind you but you ignored them. Even though you weren’t the best of friends with Castiel, you knew how to calm him down when he was like this.  
By now, the boy was running through the crowd of people before Castiel could even swing at him. Castiel had a deep frown on his face as he glanced around the dissipating crowd of onlookers. You quickly grabbed a handful of napkins from a table and held them out to him as his bright blue eyes caught yours. One side of his lips quirked up in a tight smile that you returned.

“Thanks” he said, taking the napkins and drying off his soaked shirt.

He sat at the end of a table by himself, his typical group of friends off chattering about how they were going to find the guy that had run away. You glanced back at your friends, Anna and Samandriel looking grateful that they didn’t have to get involved, trusting that you could handle their rowdy brother.

You turned back to Castiel, taking a deep breath, you sat in the seat across from him. His blue eyes flickered up to you and his hand stopped on his shirt. You glanced at the entrance to the cafeteria, where Dean was leaning against the wall talking to Lisa. You choked on your next inhale of breath and let your hands drop to the table in front of Castiel, the flyers unravelling on the surface.

Castiel let out a small laugh and resumed drying himself off. When you managed to slow your breathing, you choked out a “hi” and cursed at yourself for how broken your voice sounded with just that one word. Damn Dean Winchester and his stupid smile and his stupid “I think we should see other people” line. Castiel didn’t seem to mind though and turned to you with one of his small smiles that just barely bordered the line of a smirk.

“What’s up?” he said, throwing the napkins on the table. “What’s all that?” he asked, not waiting for your response to his first question before he pulled one of the crumpled papers from the pile.

“Oh, you’re helping Charlie with the party this weekend. Yeah, I got invited to this already” he said, handing you back the flyer.  
He was invited already? Oh God, that means that Dean will probably be there. Which also means that Lisa will be there.

“Great, that means I need to be calculating on how drunk I need to be” You said without thinking of how rude you probably sounded. But Castiel only let out a small laugh and grabbed another flyer from you. His eyes grazing the paper as he typed something into his phone.

“I understand completely” he said without looking up. Your mouth felt dry and you couldn’t speak. You really didn’t want to talk about the guy’s best friend in front of him.

“Yeah, He’ll probably be there…” he trailed off, glancing up at you with a small, warm smile on his face.

“Come find me when you just can’t stand being around everyone anymore. I know how you get when you’re forced to around a lot of people” He stated, his gaze never leaving yours.

“Why?” you asked, confused at him wanting to hang out.  
You always believed that he thought of you only as his younger sibling’s friend. He laughed again and you finally averted your eyes deciding that the table was suddenly the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen.

“Well, it’s kinda my fault for introducing you to Dean…” he leaned his face over the table towards you as if to tell you a secret. You leaned in closer as well and realized that his lips were so close to your ear that they grazed it when he spoke.

“And I really want to make that mistake up to you” He whispered before he nipped your earlobe.  
Your heart stopped in that moment and you couldn’t breathe. A shiver ran through you when he leaned back with a wide grin on his face.

“See you tomorrow Y/N” He said as he stood and sauntered towards Dean and the rest of his friends. You couldn’t help your eyes as they wandered down his muscular back to his hips, and Good God did he just throw a wink at you over his shoulder. You sat by yourself for the remainder of lunch trying to wrap your head around what had just happened.

Was Cas flirting with you? There was no way. You’ve known him and his family for years and not once had he ever come onto you. Yeah he was probably one of the hottest guys in school, but he was also your best friend’s older brother. There was no way you could do that to Anna and Samandriel. Not that there was anything to consider doing.

“Get it together Y/N. He was just playing around. It was just a game” You whispered to yourself, balling up your fists on the tabletop while you tried not to think about his warm breath on your ear only moments ago. Castiel was trouble and you knew it, but lord help you, if he kept doing things like that, he was going to be the death of you.

The day seemed to drag on, English class was especially hard with the repetitive questions from Anna and Balthazar about what had happened during lunch. You chose to only tell them that Castiel wasn’t really angry at that boy and that he was coming to Charlie’s party.  
Completely bypassing the whole, ‘Cas got all flirty with me and I don’t know what to do with myself around him now’ thing.  
Only after the last bell of the day, when you were seated in your car ready to go home did you realized that you had gone the remainder of the day without a single thought about Dean.

You felt good at that thought, still confused about Castiel, but good nonetheless.

You went home and laid in bed, your mind racing with images of blue eyes and tattoos and you headed to the bathroom to talk a shower and get ready for bed. It was early in the afternoon yet you were exhausted. While the hot water ran down your back, anxiety flooded you. ‘What if he was just making fun of me? What if he and Dean planned this whole this out?’ Damn it, you need to stop thinking like this. Dean may have been an asshole, but you knew that he would never do anything like that to anyone. As for Cas, well, he knew that if he were to do anything to hurt you, he would face the wrath of two younger siblings.  
After you showered and got dressed, it was nearing five o’clock. You needed to help Charlie with decorations in the morning so you decided that it wasn’t too early for bed, right?

You laid in your bed, pulling the blankets snug around you and for the first time ever, you allowed yourself to think of Castiel as more than just your friend’s older brother.  
You pictured what it would be like to run your fingers through his constantly unruly hair while he smiled at you with that smile he reserved only around close friends. What it would feel like to kiss him, to feel the cool metal of his lip piercing against your mouth. You pushed out any thoughts of Anna and Samandriel, though you couldn’t push Dean out of your mind.

Castiel and Dean have been best friends for years. What would it look like to break up with one of them and instantly jump to the other? You let that thought settle into your brain, effectively making guilt pool in your stomach for feeling like this.

You stared at your ceiling for a few moments, the glow in the dark stars that you and Anna had stuck on it as children glowing down at you.

Well, you and Anna didn’t do much, having to get Castiel and Samandriel help the two of you out before you all went outside to ride your bikes. You smiled at the memory and realized that you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. If Dean didn’t want to date you anymore, then who cares what he thought of you and Castiel getting together? With a final thought, you made your decision and settled into a deep sleep.

If Castiel made a move at the party tomorrow, you would gladly return his efforts. Fuck everything else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just get to the good stuff already

You had just hung the last of the (very cheesy) spider decorations for when Anna arrived. She gave you a quick hug before retreating to go find Charlie. 

You walked into the kitchen and looked at the clock, 8pm, the party was scheduled to start now, though you knew people wouldn’t start showing up for at least another hour. You took a small sip from your drink that you really shouldn’t have let Charlie mix for you. It burned the whole way down and you coughed a bit when you swallowed it. A few seconds later, Anna burst open the door to the kitchen, a deep frown etched onto her face.

¨What did Cas do to you ?¨ she asked. Your only response was a confused look back at her. 

¨Cas, Y/N. At lunch yesterday? You said he was normal, but Charlie just told me that he was flirting with you¨ She stated, you could tell by her voice that she wasn’t as angry as she led on to be.  

¨He didn’t DO anything Anna¨ you responded, turning away from her so she couldn’t see the blush creep onto your cheeks at the thought of someone seeing what Castiel had done. Charlie crept into the kitchen and stood by your side, a wide smile on her face as she reached for her own drink. 

“Anna, you should be happy!” Charlie exclaimed, grabbing the vodka and thrusting it into Anna’s hands. “You know that Cas wouldn’t treat Y/N like Dean treated her” She finished, throwing a wink at you. 

“Yeah, too bad nothing is going on between us” You muttered around the lip of your cup. Anna rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath but thankfully let the topic drop for now. You let out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding and moved closer to your friend. 

“If anything were to happen, I promise you’d be the first one to know” You said, throwing your hands around her neck. Charlie wound her arms around the two of you as well. 

“Who’s ready to party?!” Charlie screamed, making you and Anna jump before matching Charlie’s enthusiasm with eager shouts. The three of you fell into a fit of giggles that only stopped when a group of people began pulling into the driveway.

 By nine o’clock, everyone had arrived and had started drinking. Everyone except the one person you found yourself eager to see. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he lost interest….Or maybe he’s in one of the cars you hear coming down the street.

Loud music was seeping from the speakers. The cars screeched to a halt in front of Charlie’s large house, kicking up rocks in their wake. You looked out the window, seeing the sleek black of Dean’s Impala. You felt bad at the groan you let out, considering how much you really liked that car. An older chevy truck was parked next to it and you recognized it as Benny’s, one of Dean and Cas’s friends.

The doors of both vehicles swung open and multiple figures jumped out, but you couldn’t make out who they were. You made your way outside in time to see Charlie talking to one of the girls who got out of the car, Meg was her name, you recognized her and her dark leather jacket from your AP physics class. 

Movement behind her caught your eye, he was wearing a red bandana, a tight black shirt that was torn to look as though he was attacked by a wolf; bright glow in the dark paint outlined the tattoos on his shoulders and arms. He came up behind Meg, his arm finding it’s way around her waist and pulling her against him. Castiel laid his head on the top of Meg’s and traced his fingers along her own tattoos that were showing through a tank top that looked to be five sizes too small. Jealousy bubbled through you as you glared at them. 

¨Happy Halloween Charlie! My girl Meg here hasn’t stopped talking about you in days” Castiel said, his eyes flickering up to meet yours. He smiled his beautiful smile at you, his lip ring shining in the moonlight, and it took everything in you to not go up to his and kiss him. 

Wait..what? 

You shook the thoughts of Castiel’s lips on yours out of your head, ignoring the shouts from the newly arrived guests and the feel of the bass from the music in your heart. 

Everyone stopped as one of Charlie’s drunk friends came stumbling through the yard, his loud laugh broke the trance you were in and while everyone was distracted, Castiel slipped from beside Meg and had moved closer to your side. 

¨Hey¨ he said making you jump. Before you could respond, he turned and headed into the house. You followed, but not before turning to see Dean and Lisa leaning up against the Impala, her hands finding their way under his own torn shirt.   
‘Screw it’ You thought, making your way inside to see Castiel raiding the alcohol on the counter before he grabbed two bottles of liquor. 

¨Room?¨ he asked you when he noticed your presence. You decided to keep your mouth shut to not say anything embarrassing and began to walk towards Charlie’s guest bedroom, hoping nobody was occupying it yet. When you opened the door to find it empty, Castiel walked in and plopped down onto the bed like he had been there a thousand times before. He balanced the bottles of alcohol on his lap as he adjusted himself into a sitting position. He popped open one of the bottles and took a long swig of it. 

¨Are you gonna join me or just stand there?¨ he asked, holding out the bottle towards you. Pushing down your nerves, you hesitantly moved to sit in front of him, your knees the only part that touched the other. You took the bottle and took a swig, it burning all the way down, but you pushed through it. Castiel made an impressed “Hm” as you handed him the bottle back. He took a couple more drinks of it, a drop escaping his mouth and running down his chin to his chest. 

You were ashamed to say that your eyes followed that little drop all the way down until it disappeared into the low tear of his shirt. When your eyes returned to his face, he was staring at you with a dark look in his normally bright eyes, but he didn’t say anything. 

After a while, you were both feeling pretty good from the alcohol, you had started talking about anything that came to your minds, laughing at each other’s embarrassing stories. 

“So Anna finds me in the bathtub, covered in mud and rose petals, my arm broken and glitter everywhere” he laughs out before sighing. “Damn that was a fun party” he huffs and you throw your head back in laughter. 

You remembered Anna having a picture of that very moment framed and hanging up in her room. You realized how easy it was to talk to Castiel, like it was when you were kids and he would play outside with you and the twins. He seemed to change into someone bold and mean after he started High School the year before you did though. His demeanor usually rough due to his tattoos, piercings, and the constant frown, but now he was a giggly blushing mess as he laid back onto the pillows. 

You had a feeling that not many people got to see this side of him nowadays, so you didn’t say anything about it. You laid next to him, one of the bottles rolled between the two of you and you found yourself giddy at how much fun you were having. The two of you had talked about your lives and your dreams; he was not only beautiful physically, but his mind was more complex than you would have thought. You learned more about him in a few drunken hours than you had in the past 10 years you had known him. You turned your head to face him to find his bright eyes already looking back at you, a small smile on his lips and God… you wanted him.

So, you decided to kiss him. 

Of course, your brain and your body weren’t on the same page so you didn’t actually move towards him, only imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours.   
You tried to move, but the fear of rejection was too bold in your head. You wanted him to want you too, so you waited for him to make a move. 

You scolded yourself for not just taking what you wanted in the moment of comfortable silence that passed over the two of you. ‘Damn it, it’s 2018 take control woman…. Wait’… Is he kissing you right now? 

Your eyes widened with the realization of his soft lips moving slowly against with yours. 

Holy crap, he’s kissing you right now. 

Your eyes stayed open wide for only a couple of seconds until you let yourself delve into him. Castiel tasted like vodka and peppermints and honey and you couldn’t get enough. Your head was fuzzy from drinking but you sobered up the second his hands found your hips and pulled you over him, your legs settling on either side of his, his hand traveling upwards to grip your hair in order to deepened the kiss. Your hands pushed into his sides and he huffed out a small laugh, his muscles twitching below your fingers. 

Huh, he was ticklish. 

You smiled at your realization and you poked his side again. His lips broke away from yours in a loud laugh that you immediately knew it was your favorite sound on earth. You looked into Castiel’s happy, wide eyes. Your hands stopping her ministrations on his core and moved again, taking control of the kiss this time, which he returned   
eagerly. 

This is happening. His kisses felt even better than you thought they would. He smiled into the kiss and grabbed your hips, rolling you both over so his arms caged you in on the bed, his thigh pressed between your legs just out of reach where you suddenly really, really wanted him. Your fingers found their way under his shirt and roamed over his back, pulling him closer, desperate for more. You gasped when his hands tightened in your hair and he kissed his way down your neck, sucking dark marks into your skin that you couldn’t care about at the moment. 

Castiel pulled back to look at you, his pupils blown, but you didn’t pay much attention to them, your head snapping to your door that was suddenly burst open. Your eyes met another pair of surprised blue eyes and the giggling face of a dark haired girl who’s name you couldn’t bother to remember right now.   
You somehow crawled away from Cas, leaving him on his hands and knees, his head hung down in annoyance, your face red with embarrassment. He lifted his head to you, a sheepish smile plastered on his pink tinted face. 

“Sorry brother, didn’t know anybody was in here” Castiel’s smile dropped at the sound of Benny’s voice and his head whipped towards the door, a scared expression on his face. 

“What the-?” Benny started as he stared down at the two of you. 

Castiel hopped out of the bed, adjusting the bulge in his pants in a manner that was not very subtle. He leaned over the bed and pressed another chaste kiss to your lips 

¨I had fun tonight Y/N. We should do this again sometime¨ he whispered before he walked towards the door, gripping Benny’s arm, pulling him away from the door. 

The dark haired girl turned to you in confusion and you remembered her now. 

Ruby. 

Sam Winchester’s senior girlfriend who everybody knew was no good for him. She was going to sleep with Benny, while poor Sam was probably at home doing homework or something. 

“Really? Dean’s best friend? Boy is he gonna be mad” She spat at you, her arms crossed over her chest as she smirked. Anger bubbled in your gut, but you calmly made your way off the bed and around to the end where your jacket had somehow fell to. 

“Not as mad as he’ll be at you” You countered and let out a small laugh at her confused expression. You walked towards the door, stopping right in front of her. 

“What’s Sam doing tonight Ruby?” You asked before walking away without an answer. Ruby’s fallen expression was all you needed to see and you grinned the whole way down the stairs and into the kitchen, walking confidently with your kiss bruised lips and flushed skin. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's drinking games in this and more making out with people but everything is consensual and in good fun.

You weren’t sure what time it was, but by the sight of multiple passed out people on the couch, you figured it was well past midnight. You looked out the window and noticed that both the Impala and Benny’s truck were still there, leaving you to wonder where everyone was. 

Entering the kitchen, you wished you would have never asked that question. 

There was a very intense game of spin the bottle going on around Charlie’s large table. You were met with a dozen eyes as the door closed behind you. 

“Y/N!, Come join the fun!” Charlie screamed as she made her way towards you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to the ring of people. You watched the spinning bottle for a second before looking around the table at the participants. 

Anna was there looking disheveled in her inebriated state, as was Balthazar who was looking at you with those intense blue eyes of his. You glanced around and spotted Meg beside Charlie, their hands “Casually” laying atop each other, Charlie’s eyes never leaving the dark haired girl’s face. Benny was across the table from you, his arm flung around both Dean and Cas. 

All three of their stares were on you, each of them holding a different expression that you pointedly decided to ignore. The spinning bottle eventually landed on a boy and a girl who you didn’t know. They retreated to the bathroom, a chorus of whoops laughter following them. 

“I need more to drink if I’m going to play this, Charlie” You said before walking towards the bottles that remained on the counter. 

“Yeah! Shots!” Charlie yelled and made her way to you, handing out the small cups to everyone. “What are we drinking to?” Someone asked and you felt multiple pairs of eyes on you. You found Cas’s eyes in the group and decided to be bold. 

“To drunk make out sessions!” You raised your glass with everyone else’s as they all cheered in response. Your gaze never left Cas’s, watching him swallow the drink in his hand. 

“Hey, time’s up!” Charlie yelled as she banged on the door of the bathroom. The small crowd of people scurried back around the table to resume the game. Charlie snatched up the beer bottle before anyone else could touch it.

“I, as party queen, declare that it is Y/N’s turn to spin” Charlie said, handing the sticky bottle to you. Your breath caught in your throat but you pushed through it, your drunken mind deciding that it wasn’t such a bad idea. The bottle spun for what felt like hours. You could feel the tension in the room, though that may have just been the deep blue gaze that you kept your eyes on the whole time. 

A chorus of “Oohs” erupted around you, only breaking eye contact when Castiel’s gaze hardened at someone else in the circle. It took you a minute to realize who the bottle was pointing at…Balthazar. 

‘Well, it could have been worse’ you thought to yourself as you made your way to the bathroom, the group cheering behind you, though it seemed to be lacking a few voices. Balthazar closed the door behind him and offered you a small smile as you jumped onto the sink facing him. 

“What have you been up to all this time sweetheart?” He whispered, moving closer to you as he spoke. You chuckled and offered him a lazy smile and thought back to what you had been doing. You hadn’t realized that Balthazar had gotten close enough to your face for your noses to touch, his body between your thighs. 

“I think we’re supposed to kiss now…” He muttered, his accent slurred in a very attractive way. You leaned in towards him, grazing your lips across his before pulling him to you by his shirt. The kiss was as wet and awkward as drunken kisses go, teeth and lips not cooperating with each other. You both pulled back and laughed. 

“So weird…” Balthazar said, his hand wiping at his mouth as you continued to laugh. “Like kissing my sister” he laughed. 

“Let’s agree to never try that again, okay?” You asked, slinging your arms around his neck to steady the spinning room. 

“Agreed darling”  
The door was flung open to reveal a smiling Charlie as you both made your way back into the kitchen. You noticed that Castiel was gone as well as half of the group.

“Guess we’re done?” Balthazar asked, though Charlie wasn’t listening. She was a flurry of red hair being hurried up the stairs and you huffed out a laugh. You’d be hearing all about her latest conquest in the morning.

Your eyelids felt heavy, and you felt like there was something you were supposed to be doing. Though when Balthazar turned to you and mentioned the word “sleep”, that was the only thing on your mind. 

You allowed yourself to be dragged up the stairs and into Charlie’s guest bedroom again where you were met with green and blue eyes stared back at you in shock from in front of the window. You blinked away the dizziness of running up the stairs and then it registered who was in the room with you. 

Castiel’s eyes were hard as he stared at your hand entwined with Balthazar’s, but you only rolled your eyes in return. Balthazar, too tired to register the tension in the room, moved from behind you and dropped onto the bed with a huff which you followed, snuggling up with a large pillow. 

You heard harsh whispers but you couldn’t make out what they were saying as you tried desperately to fall asleep. After a minute and only hearing one set of footsteps leave the room, you pried open one eye. You jumped in shock at the sight of a body in front of you. You leaned back on the bed so you could see into his face. 

“What are you doing?” you groaned sleepily at Castiel. 

“Do you like me or not?” He asked and your lips turned into a frown at him avoiding your question. 

His hair looked like he had been running his fingers through it, though when you thought about it, it may have been your fingers instead of his own. His jaw was set and his eyes were a stormy blue, his biceps taught as he clenched his fists beside him. But despite his angry appearance, you could see something else in his expression. 

You’ve known Castiel for years, yet you had never seen him look so…vulnerable. Your expression softened and you reached a hand out to grasp his. His fist instantly relaxed at your touch. Your eyes were tired and you had to strain to see his face clearly. 

“Can we talk about this when I’m sober, please?” You asked, your voice only a whisper as you dragged a thumb over his palm. Castiel’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before he let out a small sigh. He leaned over and placed a quick kiss to your forehead. 

“Of course” he muttered before standing to move away. 

“Where are you going?” you asked. You weren’t sure what you had expected, but it wasn’t for Cas to leave. 

“You already have a bedmate, I was just going to find somewhere to crash” Castiel huffed out a laugh, though it sounded forced. You thought for a second before you groaned and sat up a little too quickly. 

“Ugh, tomorrow’s gonna suck” you whimpered. You slowly made your way out of the bed, grabbing a few of the pillows and ripping the large comforter off of it, laughing as Balthazar tugged the thin sheets around his sleeping body. 

“What are you doing?” Castiel asked as he quietly watched you lay the blanket on the floor. You only let out a contented huff as you stepped back to look at your creation. 

The pillows lay beside each other on your makeshift bed and though it wasn’t an actual bed, it looked like the most comfortable place on earth at the moment. 

You turned to Castiel and gripped his hand, tugging him down on the floor with you. You must have pulled him a little too roughly, since he landed above you, his arms trapping your head, his face close to yours. You lightly breathed out, your heartbeat picking up at being back in this position again. 

“Kiss me” you whispered and he obliged, his warm lips lazily moving against yours, his strong fingers running through your hair.   
You sighed into the kiss as Castiel moved from above you to lay on his side. 

After a while, you gave up on trying to stay awake and laid your head on his chest, his fingers laced in your hair. He brought his lips to your forehead, placing gentle kisses along it, though sadly you weren’t awake to feel them. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV change in the beginning

“Hey Cas, can I talk to you?” Dean muttered to his friend, motioning for him to follow up the stairs. 

Cas nodded his head, turning his hard stare at the bathroom where you had just gone into with Balthazar. He wasn’t jealous, nope not at all. He totally didn’t cross his fingers in hopes that the bottle would land on him. He had tried to keep his demeanor cool through the whole night, but in reality, he missed the feeling of your lips on his. He missed the roll of your hips onto his and the little noise- 

Castiel shook himself from his memories with a sigh. He couldn’t think about that right now. Cas stomped up the stairs behind Dean, back into the guest bedroom he had been in with you. 

“Dean, for the last time, I’m not sleeping with you” Castiel joked as Dean shut the door behind them. 

“Shut up” Dean responded with a laugh. He made his way to the window on the opposite of the room, Castiel’s eying him warily. 

“What’s wrong, man?” Castiel asked, his voice gone serious at the pensive look on his friend’s face.   
Dean furrowed his brows and turned back to face Cas. 

“Do you think I should have broken up with Y/N?” He asked and Castiel felt his body tense up. He clenched his jaw to refrain from shouting ‘Yes, you did the absolute right thing, don’t try to change a thing’. 

“Why?” Was all Castiel could make come out of his mouth. Dean let out a long sigh, his hands finding their way to his pockets. 

“It’s just, she really is amazing, but…is that enough? Like, don’t get me wrong, she’s gorgeous and smart and nice at the same time…but…I don’t know man” Dean said, his hand lifting to rub at the back of his neck. 

No. Dean can’t be having second thoughts about Y/N. He had his chance, let someone else make her happy! Let me make her happy!

Castiel swallowed the shout that wanted to escape his throat and settled on something to say to his friend. 

“I think… I think that if you didn’t feel that spark the very first time you kissed her, then you can’t force it to come by trying again” He muttered. Castiel hoped that what he was saying made sense to Dean, lord knows that he himself felt the undeniable spark between the two of you when you had kissed only an hour ago. Cas felt his stomach flutter at the thought again. 

“So why do I wanna go downstairs and punch that little Frenchie in the mug?” Dean asked with clenched fists.   
Castiel could relate. He didn’t exactly react very well at seeing you fall into the bathroom with Balthazar either. 

“Is Dean Winchester jealous?” Castiel asked with a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. If Dean noticed his discomfort at the subject, he didn’t mention it. 

“I don’t get jealous” Dean said, his finger thrust at Castiel, thought he could see the laughter in the green eyed boy’s face. Castiel couldn’t let this go on, he needed to tell Dean how he felt about you…how he always felt about you. 

“Dean…” Castiel started before he was interrupted by the door swinging open. 

They both jumped and turned around, and Cas was vaguely aware of his jaw clenching so hard his teeth hurt. He could feel Dean tense behind him, though he didn’t comment on it. Balthazar’s hand holding Y/N’s was all he could focus on at the moment. 

What the hell was happening? Was Balthazar trying to take advantage of a drunk Y/N? Hell no, not on his watch. Castiel stepped forward to pull you away from him, but stopped when Balthazar moved first. 

The boy jumped unceremoniously onto the bed and almost instantly, Cas could hear his faint snores. He looked back to you and wanted to laugh at your attempt at an eye roll that looked more like you simply widening your eyes. 

Dean was gripping his arm as you slammed yourself on the bed beside Balthazar and snuggled up with the pillows. Castiel couldn’t help thinking of how adorable you were, then sighed at how far gone he really was on you. 

“She’s sleeping with him now?!” Dean’s harsh whisper came from his side and he turned to face him. Dean’s face was hard and Castiel knew his friend would blow up any second. 

“They’re already asleep, Dean. I’m sure nothing will be going on tonight” Cas whispered back, pulling his arm from Dean’s grip in the process. Dean looked from Cas, back to the bed and huffed an angered breath. 

“I’m going to find Lisa” He said before storming out of the room. Castiel rolled his eyes at his back and silently moved to close the door behind Dean. 

Castiel looked down at you, taking in your features that he had come to admire over the years. How could he let you slip through his fingers and go to Dean? He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. 

Castiel promised himself that he wouldn’t allow his stupid insecurities get in the way of loving you- and that’s exactly what this was. Love. 

He had known since the beginning that you were special, that he would love you for the rest of his life, weather he told you or not. He wanted to plant a kiss to your forehead, but as his eyes skimmed your face again, he noticed your eyes opening and he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. 

“Do you like me or not?” Smooth Cas, he thought to himself. 

He watched your eyes try to focus on him before telling him to wait until you were sober to talk. Castiel was only vaguely aware of you making a small bed for the two of you until your hand gripped his and pulled him down with you. 

“Kiss me” you had said, and how could he resist? 

When his lips met yours again, it was like coming home after a long vacation. He moved his lips against yours and he would have been content right there for the rest of his life. If only that one thought would leave his mind. As he laid next to you, his arm wrapped around your warm frame as your soft breaths fanned across his chest, he could only mutter one thing. 

“My sister is so going to kill me”.  
======  
You woke early Sunday morning to Charlie shaking your arm. 

“Y/N get up” She muttered before standing and crossing the room. Taking in your surroundings, you realized that instead of a warm body that you had fallen asleep next to last night, you were wrapped around a pillow. You frowned at the thought of Castiel leaving without saying goodbye to you. The gears in your mind trying to figure out if you had fabricated the whole thing. 

You heard a loud thump and an even louder laugh that split the air, making your head throb from your hangover. 

“Ugh, who let me drink so much last night?” You asked, rubbing your hand over your eyes in attempt to stop the light from penetrating them. Memories of you and Castiel sitting on the bed in front of you, sharing a bottle of vodka flooded your mind. 

“Oh.. That’s who” You whispered before Charlie’s voice boomed through the room again. 

“Balthazar I swear if you throw up in this bed I’m kicking your ass!” You chuckled at her, making your head hurt even worse.   
You clambered to your feet, stumbling through the traps of blankets and pillows scattered across the floor. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it was just after 7am and you groaned. 

“Charlie, why did you wake me up so early?” You asked, though you ignored the eye roll she threw your way.

You made your way down the stairs, grimacing at the bright lights that blinded you. You hopped to the bottom of the steps, taking in the damage done by the party goers, which was surprisingly not much. Typically, you and Charlie were cleaning up all day after one of her parties. 

You heard dragging feet coming down the stairs and moved slightly out of the way. Balthazar planted a kiss to your temple before taking in the surroundings himself. 

“Huh” he huffed out. 

“I know right?” Charlie began before opening the door to the kitchen and motioning you and Balthazar to follow her. You took in the near spotless kitchen and Charlie only smirked. 

“Castiel made his buddies clean up before they left this morning” She said as she swiped a finger across the counter as though she was inspecting for dust. 

“Ah Cassie, ever the gentleman” Balthazar said, sarcasm leaking from his voice. You ignored his comment and joined Charlie by the large granite countertop, making an impressed noise at their handiwork. 

“Charlie, I think you should hire them as your new- Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked at your friend’s sly smirk that was overtaking her face. Charlie raised an eyebrow at you and huffed out a laugh before walking off towards the living room.

“Charlie…” You follow her into the room but stop in your tracks when she turns to face you abruptly. 

“Want to explain why you were snuggled up next to mister ‘Nothing’s going on between us’ this morning? And why you’re sporting that love bruise on your neck right there?” Charlie asked with a smirk, the faux anger in her tone obvious. 

You slapped a hand onto your neck as your face heated. Charlie let you think for a moment, her smile turning soft as she recognized the battle going on in your head. 

“Charlie…am I wrong for wanting this…for wanting him?” You asked. You heard how small your voice sounded and you hated it. 

“Of course not Y/N. Why would you think that?” Charlie asked, her arms moving around you in a tight hug. You rested your head on her shoulder before speaking again. 

“It’s just…He’s Dean’s best friend…and Anna. Oh geez, Anna is going to kill me” You sighed, allowing the flood of emotions flow through you in the comfort of your friend. 

Charlie chuckled a bit before letting out a long sigh. She pulled you away from her, holding on to your shoulders at arm’s length. She waited until you looked directly into her eyes before she began. You could already see a speech coming so you braced yourself for it. 

“Y/N, I’m not gonna lie, Dean’s a good guy and he probably won’t appreciate anything between you and Cas. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go for it. Dean made his choice when he broke up with you, so he has no right to dictate who you decide to date after him. That’s a decision he would need to discuss with Cas. You did nothing wrong, so don’t get in that bad headspace again.” 

Charlie paused for a breath and you cracked a smile. 

“As for Anna….yeah she’s probably gonna kill you” Charlie finished with a laugh, though your smile disappeared. With a long groan, you plopped onto the couch, your face in your hands. 

“When did my life get so complicated?” You mumbled into your hands. The couch dipped beside you and you turned to face Charlie. She placed a hand on your back and rubbed it comfortingly. 

“It’s just a little blip on the radar, Y/N. Anna will understand, if anybody will understand it’s gonna be her and Samandriel. They adore Castiel and you know it” Charlie said, a small smile on her lips before she patted your knee and returned to the kitchen. 

You sat thinking over everything Charlie had said and you knew she was right. It may be a little hard for at first, but eventually, everyone would understand. They had to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Gotta love those sentence fragments.

You spent Sunday helping Charlie clean the rest of her house, getting strange stains out of the carpet and throwing out all of the empty bottles of alcohol. Your head pounding the entire time. 

It was nearing one o'clock, Charlie and Balthazar were in the kitchen making lunch while you were sweeping the floor of the bathroom. 

The buzzing in your pocket caught you off guard and you leaned the broom against the wall to retrieve your phone. Anna’s face lit up the screen and you felt your stomach twist in anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you swiped your finger across the screen to answer it. 

“Hello?” You said, trying and failing to make your voice sound casual. 

Anna’s response of a pained groan made you chuckle and relax against the wall. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you took in your disheveled appearance and ran your fingers through your hair. 

“Good afternoon, Sunshine” You muttered, a smile spreading across your face. 

“Help meeee” Anna groaned, sounding more like an upset child than a hungover teenager. You shouldn’t have let her drink so much last night; you knew she couldn’t handle her alcohol very well. 

“What do you need?” You sighed, feeling sorry at her pained moans. 

“Food…and you to rub my head like you normally do” she responded. You let out a small laugh before agreeing to come by her house when you were done at Charlie’s. 

You hung up before she could groan into your ear again. Finishing up with the bathroom, you returned to the kitchen and sat at the table with Charlie and Balthazar. 

Charlie handed you a sandwich that you gladly accepted. 

After a few bites, you sat back in your chair, realization making itself clear in your head. 

You were going to Anna’s house. 

Anna’s house in which she lived.

Anna’s house in which she lived with her brother Castiel. 

The guilt from earlier pooled back into your stomach, making your appetite shrink to nothing. 

“Charlie, what are the chances of Cas being home right now?” You whispered once Balthazar got up to wash his used plate. It’s not that you didn’t want Balthazar to know, you just weren’t sure if Castiel would be comfortable with you spilling your secrets to all of your friends just yet. 

“Probably pretty high, why?” Charlie responded, her eyebrows raising in a question. You bit your lip and dropped your gaze to your hands. 

“Anna wants me to come over” You said, not meeting Charlie’s eyes. You could feel her eyes on you but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet it. After a few minutes she laid a hand on your shoulder. 

“Don’t stress it. Just focus on Anna and what she needs from you” Charlie said before moving from the table, leaving you alone. You stared at your half eaten sandwich and let out a long sigh. 

“I can do this, I’ve done this a hundred times before” You whispered to yourself, though the feeling in your stomach didn’t leave.  
\--------------

After grabbing a few burgers from a diner down the road from Anna’s house, you found yourself parked out front of their large home. The paved walkway was lined with well-groomed bushes. The large arched windows that always looked new, shined in the sunlight. You could see the large chandelier hanging from the ceiling through the window on the second floor. Anna’s house used to intimidate you with its fancy interior and pristine exterior, but over the years, you came to simply see it as a second home. 

You sat in your car, tapping your fingers on your steering wheel as you took deep breaths, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the sleek black of the Impala was shining in front of you. 

“Everything’s fine” you reminded yourself as you gripped the bags of food and hopped out of your car before you could second guess yourself anymore. 

You were suddenly glad that you bought more burgers than you and Anna needed. No better way to show just how unaffected you are than offering them food. 

You held your breath as you opened the door and stepped inside. The light coming in from windows shining on the white walls was almost blinding. You could hear voices coming from the kitchen so you made your way there. 

“You’re here!” Anna near shouted from her seat at the bar that protruded in the middle of the room. You offered her a small smile and set the bags on the counter in front of her, taking a seat at her side in the process. 

“Who were you talking to?” You chuckled, as you watched Anna devour a burger. 

“‘mandriel” She said around a mouth full of food. You made a face at your friend and threw a pile of napkins at her. 

“Hey Y/N, I didn’t know you were coming” Samandriel’s soft voice coming from your side as he walked back into the kitchen. He pulled out the chair beside you and planted himself in it, offering you a tentative smile, though his eyes kept darting to the bag. 

You huffed out a laugh and passed him a burger as well, which he gladly took. You lost yourself in easy conversation with your friends as you all ate. 

A loud laugh from the hallway got your attention drawn to the doorway before it was burst open to reveal Castiel and Dean. Their faces flushed with laughter from whatever joke had passed between them. Castiel’s hair was disheveled atop his head and it made you remember the purpling hickey on your neck from his ministrations the previous night. 

You quickly hiked up the collar of your shirt in attempt to cover it, leaving your hand there just in case. Samandriel let out a quiet laugh at you, his eyes flicking to your poorly covered neck before he rolled his eyes. 

He leaned over to whisper into your ear. “Just own it” He said. You sat back in your chair to look at him, sweet, innocent Samandriel just told you to flaunt your kiss bruised neck around your ex boyfriend and…current boyfriend? Whatever Castiel is to you now. 

You hesitantly withdrew your hand at the warm smile that came from your friend, an embarrassed laugh escaping your lips before you turned back to the others in the room with you. 

Castiel and Dean had stopped their laughter and were mindlessly looking through the cabinets of the kitchen, though their eyes seemed to not be focused on anything in particular. Every few seconds, one of them would look your way, making quick eye contact that disappeared the second it came. You rolled your eyes and cleared your throat. Both boys turning to look at you. You pushed the bag towards them and cocked a nervous smile. 

“They’re for everybody” You said and felt your heart flutter at the smiles that lit up their faces. 

Castiel met your gaze and you could feel your face heat as you noticed his eyes wandering to your neck. His eyes bright with joy, which was a complete contrast to Dean’s hard stare. His jaw flexing with jealously that confused you. 

“Y/N let’s go watch a movie” Anna said after a few moments of silence. You both walked out of the kitchen, feeling multiple sets of eyes on your back as you refused to turn around.  
=======

You spent the afternoon watching movies in Anna’s room, eating through snacks and laughing at each other’s stories, eventually napping on the large bed.  
Your eyes fluttered open to light tapping on Anna’s door. The television was muted and Anna was sprawled across her bed, her red hair covering her face as she slept off her headache. 

You crawled off the bed and opened the door to find Dean leaning against the wall. You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and cocked your head to the side as he looks at you.

 “I gotta get home” He said, his deep emerald eyes boring into yours. 

You gave him a look of confusion before he chuckled, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“You’re parked behind me” He answered your silent question. You looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing 9pm. 

“Oh..I should get home too…give me a minute” You said before returning to the room to retrieve your stuff. You heard Dean go back downstairs and out the front door to wait for you.

A few minutes later found you descending the stairs as you made your way outside. You passed the living room where you saw Castiel asleep on the couch and you chuckled at the sight. 

You couldn’t help yourself from lightly running your fingers through his dark hair before leaving out the door. 

Dean was leaning against the Impala, his hands in his pockets as he looked through thick eyelashes at you. 

God, he’s hot. You thought to yourself, though you forced yourself to pass him by without another look. You opened your door and moved to sit in it. 

 “Y/N wait” Dean said before you could get into your car. 

He had moved to stand a few feet from you and you looked into his eyes as you waited for him to continue. 

“Can…Can we talk?” He asked, a shy demeanor that you didn’t know he had made its way into his expression. 

“About what?” You asked, though you weren’t sure you liked where this conversation was going. 

Dean moved closer to you, his hands taking yours. Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t force any words out of your mouth. 

“I’m really sorry about how we left things…” Dean whispered. Your eyes widened at the realization of what was happening. 

Your mind was screaming at you to back away, to get in your car and drive off but your body wasn’t listening to you. 

“You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and-” You scoffed at this, Dean’s eyebrows raising in question. You finally regained control of your body and slowly backed away from him. 

“If I’m so amazing, then why’d you break up with me?” You asked. You couldn’t keep the venom out of your voice but you didn’t care. 

“Was it because of Lisa?” You spat. Dean looked as though you had slapped him. 

“No, Y/N it has nothing to do with her” Dean whispered, his voice thick with emotion. 

Your anger died down as you looked at his face, sincerity flooding it. You let out a long sigh and ran a hand over your face. It came away wet and you realized that you were crying. 

“Dammit Dean” You sighed as you wiped your eyes on your sleeve, refusing to say anything else. 

 “I’m just…I’m so sorry” Dean said as he walked up to you. 

You didn’t pull away when he wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. 

You didn’t pull away when he cupped your face in his hands and wiped your tears from your face. 

You didn’t pull away when he brushed his lips against yours in a slow, lung-burning kiss. 

You did however, pull away at the sound of the front door opening to reveal sad azure eyes that matched thick dark hair. The hurt expression on Castiel’s face knocked you out of your haze and you stumbled away from Dean, your breath coming out in heavy puffs that you could see in the cold November air. 

You forced your eyes back to Dean who looked like a mixture of confusion and hurt. You ran your thumb across your lips, realizing that kissing Dean felt nowhere near as good as kissing Castiel. 

“Dean…We can’t do this again” You said, your voice coming out surprisingly strong in your breathless state. 

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face before meeting your eyes again, a forced smile on his lips. 

“Can we…can we at least stay friends?” He asked, his face flushed. You bit your lip as your eyes flicked back to Castiel, who Dean had yet to notice. 

“Of course” you whispered. 

Castiel’s eyes darted between Dean and you, his gaze hard. 

“I hope you and this new guy are happy” Dean said, which made you turn back to him, surprise written all over your features. Dean huffed a small laugh before lightly tapping on your neck. 

“That’s kind of hard to miss” He smirked before dropping his hand to his side again. 

“Goodnight Y/N” he said before retreating to his car, the loud rumble of the Impala thrumming through your heart. 

You threw up your hand to Castiel, silently telling him to wait as you started up your own car to get out of Dean’s way. When you could no longer see the Impala’s taillights, you jumped from your car and briskly walked back up the pathway towards Castiel.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual smut in this one, if you want to skip it starts at "Tell me to Stop and I will" and ends at "Those three little words"

“Cas look-” You started but were cut off as he crushed his lips to yours. 

You melted into his warmth, soaking up every spark and shiver that ran through you from his touch. Castiel turned you around and backed you up to the wall, holding you there with his hips as he ran his hands lightly over your sides, his lips never leaving yours. He gripped your wrists and pinned them above your head. You ran your tongue against his lips and over the cool metal of his lip ring, earning a low moan from the back of his throat. 

All too abruptly, he backed away, leaving you panting and aching for the warmth of his body to return. Castiel ran a hand through his hair, while the other ran over his pink lips. His head lowered as though he was deep in thought. 

You rested your head back on the wall and closed your eyes, knowing that you had to say something, anything to let him know that what you and Dean had was over. 

“I do like you” You sighed before opening your eyes to look at him. Castiel’s head whipped up at your voice, his eyes finding yours, his hand dropping from his hair. 

“What?” Castiel asked, confused at your sudden declaration.   
You lifted your head from the wall and matched his stare, swallowing the anxious lump in your throat. 

“I said we would talk about it when I was sober…and I do like you…a lot actually” You muttered. It was quiet for a few more seconds before Castiel was on you again, his hands running through your hair as his mouth moved in sync with yours. Minutes, or maybe hours passed before he forced his lips away and leaned his forehead against yours, taking a long steadying breath before he could speak. 

“Go on a date with me tomorrow” He whispered before peppering kisses on your lips. You giggled before nodding your head, placing more kisses against his mouth and neck. You eventually made your way back to your car, Castiel’s hand entwined with yours, sending tingles all throughout your body.   
He placed one last kiss to your lips before you got in your car and drove home. The bright smile on your face not leaving your lips for the remainder of the night.

 

=======

 

Monday morning saw you parking your car in the lot out front of the school, dreading another long week of teachers and classes, yet anxious to see Castiel again.   
Because he was a year ahead of you, you didn’t get the chance to see him until lunch rolled around. The thought of having to wait at least three hours for that time to come made you groan before you shut off your car and braced the cold November air on your way through the doors. 

You sat through your first two classes, trying your best to focus on whatever spewed from your teacher’s mouths, though your mind continued to trail back to Cas’s lips on yours the previous night. Anna kept throwing suspicious looks your way the whole day, not failing to notice the stupid smile that stayed on your face. 

The bell rang for lunch and you forced your feet to slow to a normal speed as you paced to the cafeteria. You sat at your normal table, Sam, Jessica, and Kevin all already seated and talking as animatedly as always. You smiled at Sam and Jess and frowned at remembering what you had seen at Charlie’s party. 

“Okay, what’s wrong with you?” Anna asked as she planted herself in the seat beside you, Samandriel sitting on your other side, a knowing smile on his soft features.   
You furrowed your brows at him before turning back to Anna. You really needed to tell her, you really did. But you couldn’t. You felt as though Castiel should be present when that secret came out. 

“Nothing, why would something be wrong?” You asked, not meeting steely blue gaze as it bore into you. You noticed Samandriel shaking his head slightly out of the corner of your eyes. 

“Y/N, I know you, and I can tell when something’s off about you” Anna stated, her voice hard and borderline angry.

 “Anna…I’m sorry…I just can’t tell you right now” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. Anna’s face looked as though she was going to burst with another one of her rants. You cut her off before she could even begin. 

“I promise I will tell you. I just can’t do it at the moment, I swear, it’s nothing bad” You sputtered, racing to get the words out. You hoped that she wouldn’t see this as something bad. Charlie’s words came back to you, slightly calming your worries. 

‘Anna will understand, if anybody will understand it’s gonna be her and Samandriel. They adore Castiel and you know it’

Anna’s eyes softened as she let out a long sigh. 

“Fine” she said before turning to eat her lunch, her chews aggressive in the way that let you know that she was pouting. You fondly shook your head at her before turning back to your own lunch, though your eyes constantly flew across the large room. 

“You should really just tell her about you and Cas” Samandriel whispered into your ear from your right side. Startled, you whipped your face towards him, your eyes wide, though he only chuckled. 

“You know?” You mouthed, not wanting anyone else to hear your conversation. Samandriel brought his face closer to your ear before speaking again. 

“It wasn’t hard to figure out…Especially when I saw you two attacking each other by the front door last night” He whispered before pulling back to look at you, a large smile spread across his lips as he took a bite of his sandwich. 

Your whole body felt hot with embarrassment at knowing that one of your best friends had seen you making out with his brother.

 “Sam- I-” You sputtered, which only made him laugh. He laid a hand on your shoulder, chuckling dying down. 

“It’s okay, Y/N” He said before dragging his fingers across his lips to signify that he would keep it between the two of you. Samandriel’s eyes flickered to the other end of the cafeteria and nodded his head in the same direction. You lifted your head, eyes searching for what he may have been signaling to. 

You froze as your eyes met bright blue from across the room. He was wearing a red and black plaid opened button down, a black shirt underneath that clung to him in all the right places. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying the few tattoos he had on his muscular forearms. His dark black jeans hung low on his hips like every other pair of pants this boy owned seemed to do. His hair was a perfect mess, which he ran a hand through as he entered the cafeteria, his group of friends surrounding him. 

You let out a breath as your eyes lingered on him, you had never really looked at him like this before today. Never really noticed how the tight shirts made you able to see each muscle flex in his arms, or the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he laughed at a joke one of his friends made. 

“What’s up bitches?!” Charlie screeched from in front of you, blocking your view of Castiel. 

You were shaken out of your thoughts and realized that you had completely blocked out any noise coming from around you.   
Man, you were so fucked. 

Charlie was telling some story about her and Meg, and you tried to listen, you really did. You tried to block out the thoughts of kissing Cas, waking up beside him, making breakfast as he wrapped his tattooed arms around your waist, looking up into his dark blue eyes as he thrust-. 

You inhaled sharply before muttering to your friends that you needed to go to the bathroom. Your breath came rapidly as you paced your way past the tables of the lunchroom, passed Castiel and Dean, feeling like a thousand pairs of eyes were on you, reading every thought that passed through your head. 

You burst through the doors that led to the hallway. Finding it empty, you braced yourself against the wall and forced yourself to take a deep breath. 

You were in love with Castiel. 

You were so in love with him and it felt like getting hit by a bus in the best way possible. 

A small laugh escaped your lips as you lifted your head, more laughs forcing their way out. You didn’t care how crazy you looked at the moment, you were in love and it felt amazing, though it took you damn near 10 years to figure it out. 

Laying your head against the wall, you took a deep breath, a goofy grin spreading across your face. You heard the door open and your heart fluttered at the thought of Castiel coming to check on you. 

Turning your head, your happy gaze met…green? 

Your smile faltered only slightly when Dean made his way to you, worry set deep in his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, the worry in his eyes diminishing as he saw your happy appearance. 

You nodded your head quickly, easing your racing heart. “Yeah, I’m good” You muttered. 

“Good…that’s…good” Dean said, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness again. You offered Dean a friendly smile, hoping to ease the tension rapidly building around you.   
The door opened again, causing both of your heads to turn towards it. You broke into a bright smile at the sight of Castiel, though his face looked tense.   
You thought about how the situation might have looked, especially after the events of the previous night. 

“Benny’s looking for you” Castiel said, his voice rough with controlled anger that made a shiver run through you. Dean nodded his head once and threw a small smile your way before heading out the doors and into the lunchroom.   
As the door clicked shut, Castiel’s eyes met yours again and you couldn’t keep the tingling from racing through your body. 

“Did I interrupt something?” Castiel asked you in the voice that you were coming to adore. You couldn’t find the words to say, and every time you thought about those three little words, your throat constricted. 

Castiel darted his tongue out to lick his lips and you were done. 

You threw yourself into his strong arms, your lips crashing with his. Castiel’s muscles relaxed under your touch, making you smile against his lips. Castiel pulled back, but not before nipping at your bottom lip, pulling a moan from your throat. He chuckled shortly, his hands coming to cup your face.

 “We still on for tonight?” He asked and you scoffed. 

“Of course” You whispered, placing one last kiss on his lips. Castiel’s smile could rival the sun from its brightness in that moment.   
The shrill noise of the bell made you both jump apart, faces pink and lips plump from kissing. 

“I’ll pick you up at 6” Castiel said before the doors were burst open and you got lost in the hallway as it filled with students.

 

======

 

As he promised, Castiel drove up to your house at precisely 6pm. He had refused to tell you where he would be taking you, so you opted to wear a simple black skirt and loose fitting white t-shirt, donning a red scarf and leather jacket to brace the semi cold air. 

The doorbell rang as you were finishing up your makeup and you jogged down the stairs before flinging open the door. Your breath caught in your chest when your eyes fell on Castiel. 

“Holy fuck…” you breathed out before you could stop yourself. 

Castiel chuckled at your words as he looked sheepishly at you through thick eyelashes. He was wearing a white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows in that sexy way again. black pants gripped his thighs. His deep blue eyes were being brought out by a light grey tie that laid backwards across his neck. 

You laughed at the sight before undoing it and tying it correctly for him, though your hands may have lingered on his broad chest a bit longer than necessary. 

“Thanks…I could never get the hang of that” Castiel said shyly, his face pinked with embarrassment that you kissed away. 

You opened the door a little more and stood out of the way so he could come in. 

“I just need to get my shoes and I’ll be ready” You said, before disappearing back into your room. You took a deep breath and checked your appearance one last time.   
Making your way back into the living room, you were surprised to see Castiel looking at himself in the small mirror that hung on the wall by the door, one hand trying to tame his hair, while his other hand held a bouquet of roses that you somehow had missed when you opened the door. You admired his frame for a few more seconds, shamelessly allowing your eyes to travel along his lithe body. 

At the sound of you clearing your throat, Castiel swung around on his heels, his eyes wide as he seemed to see you for the first time. 

“Uh…These are-” Castiel stuttered, his eyes flickering down to the flowers in his hand before they flicked back to you. 

“These are for you” He finished, finally seeming to find his voice. You tried to hide the overwhelming grin that was threatening to take over your face. 

Taking the roses from him, you promised to put them in a vase and made your way to the kitchen, Castiel following close behind you. You filled the vase and placed the flowers in it, admiring the soft petals and sweet scent of them. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here” Castiel said from behind you, his hands fumbling with a framed picture of you and your parents. 

He looked up at you and sighed, a look of sadness flickering over his face for only a second that if you had blinked you would have missed it. But you didn’t, though he cut you off before you could ask him what was wrong. 

“We should get going…” He started, taking your hand in his. His fingers tracing invisible lines over yours. 

“Don’t want to be out too late, it’s a school night after all” He finished with a smile before leading you out the door and into his car.

 

=======

 

Castiel took you to the best restaurant in town, he told you more funny stories that had your cheeks hurting from laughing so hard. His hand hardly left yours from across the table the whole night. 

You thanked whoever was listening that you didn’t have to sit through awkward first date talk because you both already knew each other. Though the things you didn’t know seemed unimportant at the moment. 

As Cas drove back to your house, your hand rested on his thigh, his fingers laced with yours, your eyes heavy from eating so much. 

Castiel softly shook you awake as he parked outside your house, his blue eyes alight with fondness. You sleepily sat up and watched him come around to your side of the car, offering his hand to help you up. He wrapped an arm around you, though as the cool air surrounded your bodies, it forced you awake. 

Unlocking the door, you turned to face Castiel, his hands fumbling with each other as he was unsure of what to do next. You huffed out a laugh while you reached out and gripped his tie, pulling him flush against you and into the house. You kicked the door closed behind you and led a smiling Castiel to the bottom of the stairs. His lips against your felt perfect. There was no other way to describe it other than that. Your hands gripped into his hair, ruffling it up more than it already was.   
He ran nimble fingers along your sides, pushing gently along the way, pulling a loud laugh from you when he hit your ticklish spots. 

“That’s payback for the other night” He whispered in your mouth before he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, his lips crushing against yours.   
You moaned as you felt him hardening beneath his pants, your hips moving ever so slightly against his. Castiel took in a sharp breath and pulled back, his forehead resting on yours as he looked straight into your eyes.

 “Tell me to stop and I will…” He breathed, his blue eyes dark with lust. You nipped playfully at his lower lip before drawing it into your mouth. 

“Don’t” You whispered back to him, pulling a low growl from the back of his throat. 

Castiel gripped your hips and you jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist while he carried you up the stairs. He burst into your room and lightly laid you onto your bed, his hands caressing your body while he kissed his way lower and lower, stopping to undo your scarf before throwing it to the floor like it offended him. 

He resumed his ministrations on your neck, taking the collar of your shirt between his teeth as his fingers slid underneath the hem and danced across your skin. You pushed him away before slowly sitting up, gripping the bottom of your shirt as you pulled it up and over your head, your fingers finding the clasp of your bra and discarding of it as well.

 Laying back down on the bed, you wiggled uncomfortably under Castiel’s eyes, but he didn’t make you wait very long. 

“You’re so beautiful” He whispered against your skin, peppering kisses along every inch that was exposed to him. His lips made their way up the valley of your breasts, quickly sucking on each nipple before moving on to your shoulder, your neck, your jaw, and finally, your lips. Slowly moving against them as if he had no other care in the world.

Castiel’s warm fingers made their way up your exposed thigh, fluttering towards the hem of your panties. His lips were placing kisses along the length of your body.   
When he got to your skirt he dipped the tips of his fingers in and slowly ran them across the waistband, he looked up at you, his lips parted and eyes blown with lust. You nodded your head at him, your breathing becoming ragged as he pulled it and your panties down your legs. Castiel placed a kiss to your ankle, moving upwards until you could feel his breath on your dripping core. He sucked a bruise into your inner thigh while his finger swirled around your clit. 

You keened, your back arching off the bed as a low moan escaped you. He dipped his finger into you, arching it against the perfect spot before licking a broad stripe along your folds, sucking lightly. 

You squirmed under his touch, your breath coming in short pants at his slow movements. It was everything you wanted, yet it still wasn’t enough. You gripped a handful of Cas’s hair, trying to urge him for more. He huffed out a small laugh, air blowing over your wetness made you tense and moan into the otherwise silent room. 

“Bossy much?” Cas chuckled, though his voice was wrecked, before he sucked harshly at your clit, his fingers rubbing your g-spot at the perfect angle. 

You moaned his name as you came on his tongue, your fist gripping his hair so tightly that you knew it had to hurt. He lapped up your juices before you heard him let out a strangled cry, and you looked down at him, only now noticing that his pants were gone (When did that happen?) and he was stroking himself, white spurts covering his hand as his movements slowed. 

You threw your head back on the bed, letting out a long breath in satisfaction. Your eyes felt heavy and you tried to wiggle farther up on your bed. You heard Castiel moving around the room and your grudgingly sat up. Wrapping your arms around yourself, feeling cold and exposed now that his body wasn’t near you. You heard the water running in your bathroom before he walked back into your room, wearing only his shirt and boxers. You knelt on your knees on your bed, facing him as he stood before you and placed a long kiss to his lips. You could taste yourself on him and it pulled a small moan from you. 

Those three little words were on the tip of your tongue again, yet you still couldn’t find the courage to say them. Instead, you brought your hand up to undo Castiel’s tie, tossing it to the end of the bed with a smirk. Your fingers slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons of his shirt and helped him out of the sleeves. You pecked another kiss to his lips before putting your arms in the sleeves of his shirt, buttoning it back up to cover yourself. 

“You’re staying here tonight” You said, knowing that Castiel’s parents wouldn’t mind and that yours were away on a business trip for the week. 

Castiel had a fond smile on his face when he laid on his side, his face only inches from yours and soon, you were back to how you were the night of Charlie’s party, his warm arm around you while your head rested on his chest, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep with the final thought that Castiel would be the first thing you saw in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning is a memory/dream. Leave comments and Kudos as always and scream at me about my mistakes

‘Hey you guys wanna see something?’ Castiel asked as he poked his head in Anna’s room. 

The two of you were finishing up your homework while gushing about Anna’s new boyfriend. 

‘Sure’ You both answered, eager to see what Castiel had done. A bright smile spread across his face and he came into the room, shutting the door behind him. 

‘Okay, but you can’t tell anybody’ He said, reaching out his pinkie to each of you. 

You hooked your pinkie in his and promised him that your lips were sealed before he pulled his shirt over his head and turned around. 

You and Anna each let out a surprised gasp at the view. Lining his shoulders and upper back were black and white angel wings, stretching to just above his elbows, sprouting from his shoulder blades in a realistic way. The both of you jumped from the bed, getting closer to get a better look. 

Castiel let you lightly run your fingers across his still tender skin, admiring the look of them. 

‘Why wings?’ Anna asked, her eyes wide with wonder. 

‘Well, mom did name us after angels after all…’ He said, lifting his arms a bit. 

You marveled at how the feathers seemed to move along with his muscles when he moved, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. 

‘You’re such a cliche’ Anna chuckled as she walked back over to her bed, pulling her phone out of her pocket and smiling at the screen like an idiot. 

‘What do you think Y/N?’ Castiel asked, his face turning towards you. You looked up into his blue eyes before darting them back to the tattoo. 

‘They’re beautiful but…is that really the reason why you got them?’ You whispered, fingers trailing over them again. 

He smiled wide, moving to get closer to your ear. “Someday, I want to get out of here, move to California and become a teacher. These give me courage to do that someday’ He said, winking at you. ‘Don’t tell anybody that, okay’ he asked. You felt butterflies in your stomach when his bright cerulean eyes caught yours and nodded.

 You cleared your throat, tearing your eyes from him as you walked back to Anna’s bed and sat down. Castiel put his shirt back on over his head and silently walked out the door. 

‘Hey Sam! Come help me pierce my lip!’ You heard Castiel scream from the hallway and you turned to Anna, meeting her wide blue eyes in shock. 

‘Oh there’s no way I’m missing that’ She said before both of you jumped from the bed and raced out the door.

 

========

Cas’s eyes fluttered open, flickering over your sleeping figure. A smile broke out over his face at the memory of his dream. That had been the day he knew you were the one, the day that he knew he would do anything to be with you.

Last night had been the best night of his life, though he was a nervous wreck half the time. The second his lips met yours, he could feel the tension leave his body.

Castiel turned his head to the side, looking at the clock on your wall, seeing that you had over an hour before you had to leave for school. 

He shifted slightly, slowly making his way from the bed as to not rouse you. He watched as you shifted on the bed, his shirt flowing around your body like a while halo. Your hair wild as it laid on the pillow. Castiel chuckled at you, affection filling his being. 

Pulling on his pants on from the previous night, he threw one last look at you over his shoulder before he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Looking around, Castiel decided to make breakfast for the two of you, pulling out eggs and bacon while popping some bread into the toaster.

 

=======

Your eyes fluttered open at the smell of bacon flowing through your room, sitting up, you reached out to find the other side of your bed empty. You threw your legs over the side of the bed and looked around for a pair of panties to put on and creeped down the stairs, silently padding across the cool wood of the floors. 

You entered the kitchen to find Castiel at the stove, his bare back towards you. You took in the wings that spread across his shoulders and sighed, loving how they moved above his muscles, marveling at the craftsmanship of them. You could see the hints of the words on his side, though you were still unsure of what it said. You made a mental note to ask him about each tattoo later. 

Walking up behind him, you allowed yourself to run your fingers along each feather of the wings, feeling Castiel tense at the contact for just a moment before relaxing under your touch. You placed a kiss to his shoulder as his head turned towards you. 

“Goodmorning” You whispered, placing a kiss to his lips with a warm smile. You backed away, sitting at the table to watch Castiel work. 

“Mm, I like you in my shirt” He muttered, bringing the food over and setting it in front of you.   
He stood in front of you, his hands cupping your face while you looked up at him through your lashes. His face came down to yours, though he stayed just out of reach.

 “You’re so beautiful” He whispered, his lips just grazing yours. Castiel pulled away, taking a seat across from you. You let out a small moan of protest at his wicked smile. 

“Eat up, we got a little while until we need to head to school.

=

Breakfast was delicious, but Castiel’s company made it 100x better. You had typically hated small talk, but Cas made it so easy. He told you stupid jokes and made you laugh until your cheeks hurt. 

Every second you spent with him, you fell harder and harder. Why did it take you so long to realize when he was right in front of you the whole time?

After a few moments of silence, Castiel cleared his throat and you could tell that whatever he was about to say would be serious.

“I really like you Y/N…but” Castiel muttered, his head lowered. 

Your heart began to race, not knowing what he would say next. What did you do wrong? Did he just want to get in your pants? Was he not looking for a relationship right now? You waited for him to continue, taking deep breaths in the meantime. Castiel glanced up at you, his eyes sheepishly searching your face. You nodded for him to continue and watched him take a breath. 

“If we’re going to keep seeing each other- Which I really want by the way!” He quickly added at the look on your face. 

“…we gotta tell my Anna” He finished.

 It was quiet for a moment before you broke into a wide smile, moving your hand in front of your mouth to block it. Castiel chuckled with you until the two of you were both in hysterics. After you calmed down, you cleared your throat, small giggles still coming up. 

“I’m not telling her without you…she scares me” Castiel muttered to you before picking up your plates and placing them in the dishwasher. You let out a breath of relief that he would be by your side when everything came out, though you weren’t sure how well Anna would take it.

======

 

“WHAT?!” Anna screeched from her front door, her face red with surprise. Castiel had driven the both of you back to his house so he could change before school. 

Looking back on it, it probably wasn’t the best idea to blurt out ‘Me and Cas are together’ the second she opened the front door. 

You sat on the large couch in her living room, Anna pacing back and forth across the floor, her arms crossed over her chest.

 "I just can’t believe- You told me- I-“ Anna couldn’t get a full sentence out. 

You actually felt bad, knowing that she was bursting at the seams with words that just couldn’t find their way out of her mouth. 

Castiel had run up the stairs, promising to hurry back, though he seemed to be gone for hours. You clutched a pillow to your chest, resting your head on top of it while your eyes followed Anna across the room. 

“Are you mad at me?” You asked suddenly. You knew you could handle anything other than that. She couldn’t be mad…could she?

Anna stopped in her tracks, her wild eyes finding yours. She stared for a moment and you could almost see the gears in her head turning. Another moment passed before her features softened and she plopped down on the couch beside you, a long sigh escaping her mouth. 

“I’m not mad that you’re with him…Cas is a great guy and he knows I’ll kill him if he hurts you” Anna started, her icy blue eyes boring into you. 

“I’m just upset that you didn’t tell me-” she finished before you cut her off. 

“I wanted to be sure before I told you or anybody else” You rushed out. 

“Well…except for Samandriel…he figured it out by himself” You added, still embarrassed at what he had seen. Anna laughed at that, her body relaxing back into the couch. 

“Yeah, you can never keep secrets from him” She said, shaking her head in fondness at her twin. Your eyes flitted to the clock on the wall before you jumped off the couch, pulling Anna with you. 

“We’re gonna be late” You said, making your way back to the front door. 

“Sam! Cas! Let’s go!” Anna yelled up the stairs. Loud footfalls were heard above you before they thundered down the stairs. Anna pulled you through the door and into her car. 

“You’re riding with me. You still have a lot of explaining to do” She scolded, though you could hear the joking in her voice.   
You nodded your head, smiling at your friend as she pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the school.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of violence. But man, don't you love it when characters actually communicate with each other?

The next few weeks were full of dates and stolen kisses when nobody was watching. The two of you hadn’t gone farther than the night of your first date since then, though you didn’t mind. 

Being with Castiel went beyond the physical aspect. He took you out to the movies, holding your hand the whole time. 

You both laid in his backyard under the large tree in the center as you looked up at the stars, recounting the best memories from each of your lives. 

You and Castiel were officially dating, though, not very many people knew about it; and for good reason.

==

 

The doorbell rang at your house on Saturday. You were home alone, your parent’s demanding jobs had them off to California for the week and you weren’t expecting any visitors. You had been trying to text Cas, though he wasn’t responding to you. 

You bounded down the stairs and flung open the door. There stood Castiel. His hair a mess, his lips pursed, a swelling black eye and a busted lip. You froze in your spot, overtaken by shock at the sight of him. He licked at his split lip and grimaced before he opened his mouth to speak.

 “So…..Dean knows” He huffed, a humorless laugh escaping his throat. 

You moved to softly cup his face, your cool fingers brushing over his injuries. Castiel winced in pain and you stepped back, afraid to hurt him even more. Anger bubbled up inside of you. How the hell could Dean do this to his best friend? You were sure that over the weeks, Dean would have gotten over you. Obviously you had been wrong. 

You walked Castiel into your kitchen, pulling out an ice pack for him to put on his eye. Castiel made several attempts at casual small talk, though you were having none of it. You were too angry to speak and you didn’t want to accidentally yell at Cas for something. You took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching your fists on top of the table. Castiel walked around to you, placing a kiss to your forehead while he rubbed soothing circles over your cheek. 

“It’s okay baby, I don’t need friends who’re willing to punch me when something doesn’t go their way” He whispered. 

You looked into his eyes, seeing the sadness in them. You wanted to agree. To tell Cas that Dean wasn’t worth his time. But you couldn’t. They were best friends, and you hated that you were the thing that came between them. 

Standing abruptly, you grabbed your phone and stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room, leaving Castiel sitting at the table, ice pack on his injured face. The number came easily to you, having dialed it so many times before. It rang five times before Dean picked up, his gruff voice coming through the receiver. 

“You call to cuss me out because of what I did to him?” He asked. You could hear the strain in his voice. 

“No Dean,” You stated as calmly as you could. You needed him to corporate and yelling wouldn’t do you much good. 

“Can you come over? I think we really need to discuss this” You pleaded. Dean sighed into your ear. 

“There was enough talking done today, Y/N” He said, his voice sounding gloomy. 

“Please, Dean. He’s your best friend-” Dean cut you off before you could continue.

 “Best friend? Best friends don’t date the other’s ex-girlfriends right when they break up” He roared, making you jump. 

“Dean, you and I both know how much Castiel’s friendship means to you. So if you have any desire to fix things and get passed this; to get your friend back, then come over here, now” You rushed out, hanging up on him without a reply. You said all you could, and you hoped that it was enough.

Making your way back into the kitchen, you saw Castiel looking deep in thought, his eyes plastered to the wall. You got into his line of sight and he blinked a few times before looking at you. 

“Put the ice back on your face” You murmured, grabbing his free hand in yours. You rubbed your thumbs over his fingers, bringing them up to your lips to kiss. You noticed how both of his hands looked uninjured, meaning that he probably let Dean beat him up without trying to defend himself. 

“Dammit Castiel…” You whispered, sadness overtaking your anger. You chanced a look back into his deep blue eyes, your heart breaking at the anguish of his features. 

You sat in comfortable silence, the both of you enjoying the small caresses and looks that passed between you. 

Loud knocking on the door caused Castiel to jump, though you squeezed his hand and got up from your chair. You opened the door, meeting Dean’s hard gaze before stepping aside to let him in. 

He huffed a long sigh, turning to you with his eyebrows raised in question. 

“So why’d you call me here?” He asked, his jaw tense as his he shoved his hands into his pockets. 

You laid a hand on his arm and silently led him into the kitchen. You could feel the air in the room change when the two boys made eye contact. No words were exchanged while Dean allowed you to lead him into a seat, far enough away from Cas and yourself, yet close enough to where you could grab him if he tried to make a break for the door before this conversation was over. 

“Look guys,” You mumbled, decided to get straight to it. 

“I never wanted to come between the two of you, and now that it has happened…I just…I can’t be responsible for ruining such a good friendship like yours” You stated, offering a solemn look to both boys. Their eyes plastered on you so they didn’t have to look at each other. 

“Dean, I’m sorry but…there was never really anything between us” You said, throwing a look his way. Dean’s face crumpled and you hurried to clarify. 

“I mean…I loved you. I do love you-” You said, taking his hand in yours. 

“Just…it never was going to work between us” You added, not liking how the words still seemed hurtful. Dean pulled his lower lip between his teeth, looking pensive. 

“You gotta understand Dean…Castiel is your friend. He was your friend long before both of you met me and nothing should come between that. Especially not some girl-” 

“You’re not just ‘Some girl’” Both boys interrupted simultaneously. They briefly caught each other’s glances before looking back to you, awaiting you to continue. 

You blew out a small laugh, trying to hide your smile at the compliment. Clearing your throat, you continued. 

“Either way, a friendship like yours comes once in a lifetime” Your eyes shifted to Castiel, the bruise around his eye becoming darker.

 “If you don’t work this out now…I know you’ll both regret it in the future” You sat back in your seat, signaling that you were done. A long 2 minutes passed. Dean was the first to speak up. 

“You sat there and told me to my face that it was a good idea that I broke up with her” Dean growled, his forest green eyes thundering down on Castiel’s stormy blues.

 “You know you didn’t want the same things as she did, Dean. I just wanted my chance to love her like she deserved” Castiel croaked, his eyes never leaving the green eyed boy in front of him. 

Dean snarled at him, his eyes flicking over to you, though your eyes were staring widely at Castiel. 

He said he loved you, you had been trying for weeks to gain the courage to say those words to him. To hear him say it made your heart weep with devotion.

Dean saw how you looked at Castiel, like he was the reason the earth rotated the sun. You had never looked at him like that. He sighed in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, you were right. He would regret ruining his friendship with Cas. 

“I wanted to give you everything you deserved, Y/N…” Dean whispered, his head lowered. You laid a hand over his, waiting for him to look at you. When he did, you offered a warm smile. 

“You can’t force something to be between us Dean. That’s not how this works” Your eyes flitted to Castiel before turning back to Dean.

 “Me and Cas…It’s indescribable. Though it just feels…right” You added, feeling Castiel relax behind you.   
Dean looked between you and his best friend. It was quiet for a while, each of your minds searching for something else to say. Dean was the one to break the silence. 

“Okay…If you’re happy-” He started, his fingers giving yours a reassuring squeeze. “Then I’m happy” Dean said, the first smile you had seen since he arrived making its way to his face. 

“I’m sorry, Cas” Dean huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Castiel smiled a nodded his head at his friend. 

“And if you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass…again” Dean added, thrusting a finger at Castiel. The three of you laughed, the tension in the room dissipating with the knowledge that everything was okay. 

Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could never actually make Dean a bad guy


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Smut :) Starts at "You and Castiel stumbled into the room" Ends at "You dreamt about Castiel..."

You woke up early, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of sleeping through your alarm clock. Jumping out of bed, you made it halfway down the stairs before realizing that it was the first day of Spring Break. You threw yourself back into bed, more than willing to sleep the day away.

Apparently the rest of the world didn’t get the memo. 

Not even an hour later, multiple bodies were jumping onto your bed, landing on top of you. You let out a ‘huff’ at the sudden weight, grumbling expletives at whoever was disrupting your sleep. 

Three pairs of matching blue eyes and bright white smiles met yours. 

“What?” You asked, still half asleep. 

“Somebody’s grumpy” Castiel said, moving closer to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“Gross” Anna and Samandriel muttered simultaneously. You and Castiel only laughed at them. 

“But seriously, why are you guys here?” You asked, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Cas is taking us all to the beach!” Anna yelped. You felt as though she had been keeping that sentence in for a long time. You didn’t get a chance to respond, she was pushing you out of the bed and into your bathroom.

 “Now get ready, I’ll pack your bag!” Anna yelled before slamming the door in your face, closing you in the bathroom. You immediately opened it again, making eye contact with Anna’s flushed face. 

“Beach? We live in Kansas” You asked, looking around the room. Castiel’s eyes met yours, a sly smile spread on his face. He hopped of the bed, making his way over to you. He brought his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks. 

“Just get ready, baby” Castiel whispered, placing a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

~

20 minutes later found you packed into the front seat of Castiel’s car, watching Samandriel and Cas throw the bags into the trunk. Anna gleamed from the backseat, taking selfies and shoving the camera in your face to get you in them. 

Castiel hopped in the driver’s seat, throwing a bright smile at you and taking your hand in his. He had still refused to tell you where you were going, though you felt a little better knowing that Anna and Samandriel didn’t know where exactly Castiel was taking you all either. The only hint you got was Cas’s “Buckle up, we’re gonna be in here for a while” 

On multiple occasions, Castiel had to take a break from driving, pulling into rest areas to take quick naps. He refused to let any of you drive, stating that he wanted to keep up the surprise.

 It didn’t take you long to notice the signs to California. Anna squealed with joy when Castiel pulled into a large hotel in the middle of Los Angeles. You all stumbled out of the car, legs a bit sore from the 21 hour drive. 

“How did you afford all of this Cas?” You asked, taking in the room he had led you to. It had a single king bed in the middle of it, and past that were large sliding doors that had an amazing view of the beach, the waves crashing below. The room also had a full kitchen and a beautiful bathroom with a large shower. 

“My parents are paying for it all, Anna and Sam even have their own rooms” He stated, moving behind you at the window to wrap his arms around your waist. The sun was beginning to set, throwing rays of reds and oranges across the water.

 “Come on, Anna wants us all to go to the beach tonight” Castiel whispered into your ear before placing a kiss directly under it.   
You pictured him doing the same thing to you in the distant future, and made a silent wish for it to come true one day. 

~

The beach was glorious. Castiel held your hand while you all walked along the shoreline, the sky becoming darker and darker until you all agreed to head back to the hotel, making plans to meet up again for lunch the next day. 

You threw yourself onto the bed exhausted from the day of driving and activities. Castiel had said that you all would only be here for another couple of days before having to go home, though he promised to make the trip again sometime.

“Hey beautiful” Castiel’s low voice came from the end of the bed. You groaned in response, too tired to answer him fully. He chuckled while he crawled beside you, wrapping you tightly in his arms.

 “I’m so in love with you, baby” He whispered into your neck, placing a chaste kiss there as well. You wiggled your way around to face him, nuzzling even closer to his chest. 

“Not as much as I’m in love with you” You sighed, though you weren’t sure if he heard you. You drifted to sleep quickly after.

~

The next few days were full of relaxing on the beach and by the pool, all of you getting nice tans by the last day. 

You and Anna were out shopping while Castiel and Samandriel were out doing whatever. You loved spending time with Castiel, though you had missed hanging out with your best friend so much. 

When you got back to the hotel, Castiel and Samandriel were already there, each wearing matching UCLA t-shirts. 

“That were you guys ran off to today?” Anna asked, pointing at the shirts. They nodded in agreement, Samandriel going on to tell you how beautiful the campus was and how much him and Castiel both loved it there. You swallowed the lump in your throat, but let the topic drop, refusing to think about it anymore. 

Dropping off your shopping bags in your rooms, you and Anna dressed in your bathing suits and met the boys back down in the pool.   
By 11pm, the part of the beach where you all were was deserted. Anna jumped in front of you, gripping your shoulders with a sly smile on her lips. 

“Truth or Dare?” She asked. You rolled your eyes and heard both of her brothers groan. 

“What are we, 12?” You asked, though you had to admit, it sounded a little fun. Anna didn’t respond, only lifted her eyebrows in question. You sighed, knowing that you had to play. 

“Dare” You said, decided to get it over with. Without hesitation, Anna turned to the beach, her arms outstretched towards it. 

“I dare you to go in the water” She said, pausing to look at you.

 “Is that it?” You asked, waiting for something that you already knew was coming. Anna hesitated before leaning in to whisper into your ear. 

“Naked”. You pulled away, immediately regretting choosing dare. Her brothers eyed you questionably, waiting to find out what Anna had said to you. 

“Ah, to hell with it, it’s spring break after all” You mumbled. 

They had all seen you naked anyway, Anna being your best friend, Cas your boyfriend, and Samandriel…well there was one time he walked in on you in the shower. You laughed at the thought before quickly taking off towards the water, ripping off your shirt on the way. 

The lights from the hotel were dim by the time you reached the edge, giving you enough courage to quickly remove the rest of your clothes, throwing them far behind you. 

You waded through the water, hearing cheers from Anna, though the boys were silent. You dropped down so the water was up to your neck, hiding you from the siblings. 

You could feel your face warm up as you laughed in embarrassment, though you didn’t really care. The water was cool around you, and you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do next. 

You saw Anna take her twin’s arm as she shouted something you couldn’t hear back at you before dragging Samandriel back towards the hotel, leaving you and Castiel alone. You, neck deep in the ocean, him, standing along the shore. His arms were crossed and for a moment you thought he was angry, though the next thing you know, he’s removing his clothes as well and making his way towards you. 

You grinned at him when he got close enough, your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling yourself onto his lap. The two of you kissed like there was no other care in the world, slow and languidly as the water stirred around you. 

Feeling a piece of seaweed rub against you, you freaked out a bit, standing to make your way back to the beach. Castiel followed silently, your hands interlocked between you. You reached the sand and froze. Both your and Castiel’s clothes were missing. 

“Damnit Anna” Castiel mumbled, running a hand through his wet hair. You wrapped an arm around your breasts, trying to cover most of your body as you made your way back to the hotel. 

There were two towels laid out by the entrance of the pool with a key card on top of them, no doubt left behind by Samandriel. You and Castiel wrapped yourself in the towels and briskly walked back up to your room. When you reached your floor, you both burst into laughter at the situation. You would definitely never forget this vacation.  
You and Castiel stumbled into the room, giggling between kisses. You shimmied out of your towel before falling back on the bed. Castiel looked down at you, his blue eyes dark with lust. 

“You’re gorgeous” He stated. 

The door to the balcony was open, the curtains billowing in the slight California wind. The breeze swept through the room, blowing over your naked form, making your nipples perk up. You reached a hand towards Castiel, wanting him as close as possible.

 He allowed his own towel to drop, giving you the perfect view of his muscular body. His skin was tanned from the time at the beach and it made him even more delectable.   
He grabbed your offered hand and you pulled him over you. His free arm caught himself before he landed. Castiel hovered above you, his breath mingling with yours. You could feel his length hard against your stomach, the thought that it was because of you made your breathing quicken with excitement. 

You gripped the back of his head, bringing him down until his lips met yours in a heated kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth as if it was the first time he had ever kissed you. Your hands ran down his back, your nails dragging along his skin slightly. He shuddered at the feeling and you took the chance to throw your leg around him, turning him onto his back. You looked into his surprised blue eyes, and giggled. 

Castiel’s skin was flushed, a pink tint covering his skin. You trailed your fingers down his body, your mouth placing kisses behind them. You traveled to his left side, trailing over the script there.

“All things truly wicked  
start from innocence.” It read.

You traced along the cursive lines, adding a little more pressure than necessary to get Castiel to squirm under your touch. He had stayed quiet the whole time, though he spoke up when you got to his tattoo. 

“It’s my favorite quote by Ernest Hemingway” He informed you. 

You had heard it before and of course you liked it. You jumped off the bed, rummaging through your suitcase before you found the box that Anna had stowed in it. Returning to the bed, you settled between Castiel’s thighs, licking along the ‘V’ of his right hip, doing the same to the left. You placed wet kisses along his thighs and lightly on his balls, purposely avoiding the one spot he wanted you most. 

“Please” Castiel whispered, so softly that if you weren’t in a silent room you would not have been able to hear it. 

You finally took him into your mouth, eliciting a loud moan from him. You swirled your tongue around the tip before hollowing your cheeks. Castiel keened and placed a hand on your head. He didn’t push you, though a small part of you wanted him to. 

‘Later’ you thought to yourself. Tonight, you were in charge. 

You dragged him from your mouth with a wet popping sound and kissed your way back up to his face, ending your trail on his lips again. Your movements were slow, deliberately dragging this out. You tore open the foil packet that you had gotten from your bag and slipped the condom onto his cock. Castiel pulled away from you panting. 

“You sure?” He asked, concern racking his face. You sank down onto him in response. Moans escaping the both of you before being silenced by each other’s lips. When he was fully seated in you, you rocked your hips against his, his fingers gripping tightly at your thighs. 

“When did you get this tattoo?” You asked him, tapping a finger to the quote. You rocked your hips again, earning a low moan and quick puffs of breath before he answered your question. 

“I was- ah-”He took a breath before starting again. 

“It was my 16th birthday gift to my…myself” He finished, his breathing slowing now that you had focused on listening instead of moving on top of him. 

“Hm…” you said. You slowly raise your hips, gripping his right wrist and bringing it between you to look at it. 

“And this one?” You asked, motioning to the decorative compass etched into his skin. It was the only tattoo he had that had color in it. The small arrows highlighted in reds and oranges. 

“Shortly after the one on my-Ah!” You slammed your hips back down onto him and started bouncing at a slow, even pace that was driving Castiel crazy. 

“Come on Castiel…I want to know the story” You said innocently. He tried to move his hand back to your hip, but you gripped it tight. 

“I-It was shortly after I got my… God, baby…my wings” He panted, his eyes scrunched up with focus. He would try and thrust up into you, though you would pull back even more, not letting him go any faster than you wanted him to. You were beginning to feel the warmth spread in your belly, and you knew what you wanted him to do. 

“Babe…Tell me what it means-” You paused to roll your hips, pulling a moan from him and you as well as he brushed up against your sweet spot. 

“-and I’ll let you fuck me however you want” You finished.   
You waited only milliseconds before your offer kicked in and Castiel was rambling on. 

“I got it be-because I’ve always known that no matter where I go-mm-No matter where I go, I’ll a-always find my way back home. Whether it be a house or a per-person” 

He rushed out as quickly as he could before tearing his arm from your grip and flipping you onto your back. 

Castiel slammed into you and you cried out his name, your climax rapidly approaching with each thrust. Castiel brought a hand to your clit, rubbing harsh circles around it until you were screaming out your release. You tightened your legs around his waist as he rode you through it, finding his own release a few thrust later.

~

After cleaning up, you laid in bed with each other, your back against his chest as his heartbeat lulled you to sleep.   
You dreamt about Castiel walking across a beautiful campus, donning his blue and gold UCLA gear and laughing with a group of older women, all of whom were fawning over him. Your eyes flew open, but not before you saw him grip on of the girls and pull her face to his. His pink lips mingling with hers. 

“You okay?” Castiel asked from the side of the bed. He looked as though he had just woken up himself. His dark hair a mess and the hints of stubble peppering his jaw. You sat up, wrapping the blankets around your still naked form. 

“I’m fine…Just a bad dream is all” You muttered. Castiel came forwards, wrapping you in his warm arms that instantly brought you comfort.

~

After the two of you got dressed and re-packed your bags, you met Anna and Samandriel in the lobby.

 It was early in the morning, though you needed to get a headstart on driving home. All of you were sad to head back home, though glad that you were given the chance to come here in the first place. 

The drive back seemed longer than the drive down there, the excitement of the trip long gone. You all took turns driving this time and managed to get back into the Novak driveway by dinnertime the next day. 

The four of you stumbled out of the car and headed into the large house, choosing to get the bags in the morning. You came out of Castiel’s bathroom and found him snoring softly on his bed. A fond smile formed on your face and you crawled next to him. He wrapped a warm arm around you and buried his face in your hair, a content sigh coming from his sleeping form. You knew you were exactly where you wanted to be.

~

During breakfast the next morning, Castiel announced that he would be having a family get together when their parents returned home that same night. You were all curious at what he had to say, though his chipper mood told you that it was something he was excited about.

The whole day you had tried to get him to tell you, each time he would shake his head fondly, though a flicker of something else would flash over his eyes, making you feel uneasy. Castiel would kiss you then, whispering about how everything was going to be alright. Though every time he said that, you couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t

Castiel’s parents arrived home at 7pm. By then, Cas had called a few of his closest friends to join them. 

Dean and Benny were there, along with Charlie and Jo, Dean’s new girlfriend. You smiled at them when they walked in holding hands, glad that Dean had found someone he could be happy with. 

With every new person that walked through the door, your gut clenched even more. 

Whatever Castiel was planning was a huge deal for him, and you couldn’t help but feel anxious. Castiel sat everyone in the living room when they arrived. He couldn’t hide the huge grin on his face, making him look as though he was about to burst. 

You all waited anxiously for his announcement, though when he said it, everyone’s reaction was muted to you. 

Your stomach dropped straight through the floor as everybody else gasped.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry pals. Everything in italics are memories

You waited until everyone’s attention was on Castiel, their handshakes and loving hugs occupying them enough for you to slip out the back door and onto the balcony. 

You didn’t let the tears fall until you were halfway down the stairs leading to the yard, your knees buckling, making you have to sit on the bottom step in order to not fall. The overwhelming emotions flooded you and you hated it.  You didn’t want to be sad right now, not when Castiel just announced some of the best news he’d ever gotten to his friends and family. 

He got into his dream college. 

His dream college that was across the country where he would be attending a summer program right after graduation. 

You were happy for him, you really were, but it still hurt knowing that you still had one more year of high school without him. 

You rested your head on the hard wood of the stairs, the cool night air of April whipped around you but you couldn’t care less.

You wiped the tears that ran down your cheeks, hugging your knees to your chest and burying your face in them, drowning out the world.  You took a few minutes to gather yourself, taking deep breaths to calm your racing heart. You and Cas had only been dating for six months, and you mentally kicked yourself for taking so long to realize how you felt about him. 

Taking one last calming breath, you raised to your feet and walked further into the yard. Running your hand along the large tree in the center of it.

~~~ _‘_

_"Cas! Anna! Samandriel! "You shouted from the yard._

_You had been looking everywhere for them, knowing that there was nowhere else they could be._

_You slowly crept around the tree, unsure of where else you could look.  Ruffling in the branches above you made you look up in surprise and before you knew it, three pairs of feet jumped down around you._

_‘Boo!’ The three of them shouted at you, making you yelp in shock._

_The peals of laughter between them was infectious and soon the four of you were crying with laughter.  ‘_

_Told you we could scare you!’ Anna squealed. She threw her arms around you and you laughed into her shoulder._

_‘Kids! Dinner’s ready!’ Mrs. Novak wailed from the balcony, getting everyone’s attention. The four of you raced to the stairs, out of breath and definitely ready for food._

You smiled at the fond memory, gripping the lowest branch you could before hauling yourself up. You climbed a few more feet before settling into a semi-comfortable position, legs swinging down beside you.

_The wind was blowing through your hair, your toes digging into the sand below you as you breathed in the salty air. Your sunglasses blocked out the harsh rays while you relaxed under the sun._

_‘Y/N! Come in the water with me!’ Anna squealed from the shoreline._

_Castiel and Samandriel were wrestling in the water, throwing one another around._

_You looked to your parents who were engrossed in a conversation about work. They had thankfully invited the Novaks on vacation with you in hopes to keep you busy so they could do their own thing._

_You stood from your chair, throwing your sunglasses behind you and raced to your friend._

_You threw Anna a look, a silent agreement passing between the two of you before you both broke into a sprint towards her brothers._

_Anna jumped on Samandriel’s back, knocking him over and into the water while you jumped on Castiel, doing the same._

_When you all breached the water again, Castiel’s arms were around your waist, his eyes sparkling from the reflection of the water in them. His grip tightened and before you knew it, you were being thrown back underwater._

_You let out a loud laugh when you came back up, hooking an arm around Anna. You never had any siblings of your own, but the Novaks had always made you feel complete._

You didn’t realize that more tears were falling from your cheeks until you were pulled from your memory by the sound of the back door opening and footsteps coming from the wooden stairs. You knew you weren’t hidden, the leaves having fell months ago, though the tree was big enough that someone would have to really focus through it to see you clearly. 

You quickly wiped your eyes, hoping that whoever it was would leave you alone. Of course you weren’t that lucky. You felt the branches below you shift, the tree swaying slightly with the added weight. 

“This was so much easier when we were kids” He said, a sad huff of laughter came from your throat at his voice. 

Castiel situated himself on the branch beside you, looking at you with a knowing glance. He reached out his hand to take yours, his fingers drawing circles into your palm. He brought your hand up to his lips, placing warm kisses to your knuckles. 

“I should have told you first” He whispered when he dropped your hands back into his lap. 

You bit back a sob that threatened to escape your throat, though you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Castiel let out a defeated sigh and you bit your lip, waiting for him to be angry with you. 

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re upset-” You cut him off, finally finding the courage to move and plant a lung burning kiss to his lips, knocking his balance on the branch slightly. 

He gripped onto the tree to straighten himself while he kisses you back, your tears falling down your face. Castiel cupped your face, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs as he took in every emotion that crossed your face. 

“I’m not upset…well…I am but…” You weren’t sure where you were going with this, but Castiel allowed you to ramble until you could figure it out. 

“Cas, I’m so fucking proud of you” You stated, and you were, you dreamed of this for him, hoped with every fiber of your being that he would get this opportunity because you knew how much he wanted it. 

“Yeah, I’m sad because you’ll be going away but…” You licked your lips and took a breath, steadying your voice. 

“You’re going to thrive in California, and you’re going to be so successful in everything you do and just-” Your voice caught in your throat and you couldn’t say anything more, but you knew he got the gist of what you were saying. 

Castiel stared into your eyes for a few lingering minutes, his eyes flickering over yours. The blue of his eyes appeared brighter as unshed tears welled in them. 

Castiel crushed his lips to yours, his own tears falling while he tried to convey his feelings through the movements of his lips. 

“What did I do to deserve such an amazing girl like you in my life?” He asked, pure adoration filling his voice. You laughed in response, pressing your lips to his neck as you rested your head on his shoulder, your arms thrown around him. 

“I love you so much Cas” You whispered, your tears finally letting up. 

“I love you too Y/N…More than you will ever know”.

~~~

 

Castiel’s graduation party consisted of his family and yours, his friends from school, and whoever else felt like showing up at his large house. 

It was mid-June, and you sat on the edge of the balcony, watching your father and Mr. Novak flip burgers on the grill while the group of graduates huddled below, lost in their own conversations.

You had been celebrating earlier, but now you were two hours in and you were tired of being around so many people at once. You watched as Castiel threw his head back in laughter at something Charlie was saying to him and you smiled. Knowing that soon, you’d be missing that same smile.

Castiel left two weeks after the party, but you weren’t there to see it. You two had said your goodbyes the night before and decided that that’s how you wanted to end it. You kept replaying that night in your head. 

“A love like our doesn’t just go away Y/N…” Castiel had said, his voice wracked with emotion. You tried your hardest to hold it together, but you couldn’t help the few tears that escaped your eye. 

“I know Cas… maybe one day we can try again…We just fell in love at the most inconvenient time” You whispered as a sob wracked your body. You reached out your arms and clung to him, his own arms clutching to you with equal force. 

The two of you cried into each other’s shoulders, shaking with sadness and the undying love that you knew would never leave you. 

“I want you to go to college and not have to worry about me all the time, and once I go off to my own college, I’ll be even farther away and we’ll both be so busy…” You were rambling and you knew it, but you had to get everything out before he left, everything you knew needed to be done. You needed him to understand. 

“I could always make time for you, baby. I would just do my work and talk to you all night-” 

“And miss out on the rest of the college experience?” You asked, cutting him off. 

“There’s no way I could let you so that” You finished, your tone final. Castiel tightened his arms around you and you knew he had no arguments left in him. 

After a long while, he let out a broken breath as he pulled away and placed a kiss to your forehead. His beautiful eyes rimmed red from crying. 

“I got you something…” Castiel whispered, his voice rough. 

“I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to mean…But now I know” He reached into his pocket before pulling out a small box. You stopped breathing through your heartbeat raced.

 “This is me promising to come back to you. No matter how long it takes…” His nimble fingers pried open the top to reveal a ring. 

You looked into his eyes, filled with tears again and felt your own threatening to fall. 

“You’re the one I dream of ending up with, of having a future with” He said, his fingers bringing the ring to your finger and slipping it on. 

“I love you Y/N” He whispered into your hair. You threw yourself at him, letting him wrap you up in his arms and slinking to the ground.

Castiel made love to you slowly that night, tightly wrapping his arms around you as if you’d disappear if he didn’t. 

When you woke in the morning, he was gone. You let the tears fall freely and stayed in bed the whole day.

~~~

 

Your senior year went by so quickly that you hardly had time to think about Castiel. Though any time Anna or Samandriel mentioned him, your heart felt heavy. Castiel had come home for his breaks, though your family had gone on vacation each time he was home, making you miss him even more.

By the time graduation rolled around, you had found out that you had gotten into your dream school in New York…3,000 miles from Castiel in California. But no matter how much that fact broke your heart, you were happy and excited for your future to start. You never took off the ring that Castiel had bought you.

Anna and Samandriel had a graduation party, a year after Castiel’s and it was a bittersweet moment. 

You walked through the door and there he was. Sitting on the couch, looking the exact same way he did a year ago. His eyes met yours and he sprung out of his seat to cross the room to you, gripping your hand in his and dragging you up the stairs and into his room. 

You knew people were watching you, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

Castiel kicked his door shut and then his lips were on yours, conveying emotions that had yet to be said. 

“I missed you…so much…baby” Cas whispered between kisses, cradling your face as though you’d break under his touch. The kiss wasn’t heated, there wasn’t even tongue involved. It was simply an “I’ve missed you so much and I just need to feel you” kind of kiss. A few minutes passed and you pulled away, moving to sit on his bed. 

“Castiel…” You sobbed, only now realizing that you had tears in your eyes. Cas dropped to his knees in front of you, grabbing your hands in his.

 “What is it? Baby what’s wrong?” He asked, his voice deep and gentle. It brought you more comfort than you cared to admit. 

You gave him a watery smile and looked deep into his icy eyes. He hadn’t changed a bit, but at the same time, he had. 

His face had more scruff to it and he filled out his frame a bit more now. His hair was even a little longer. You bit back a sob, imagining how much you would miss him when you left for college. 

“I…I got in” You whispered, bringing your hand to wipe at your eyes. It took Castiel a few seconds to register what you had said, though when his eyes widened, you knew he got it. 

He wrapped his arms around you, declaring how proud he was of you. When he pulled back, you could see what he was thinking, he knew what this meant, though neither of you wanted to mention it. 

Castiel ran a finger over your left hand, smiling as he touched the ring that you still wore all this time. 

“I meant it when I said that this was a promise” Castiel whispered, bringing your hand in between the two of you. 

“I never break my promises” He placed a kiss to the ring, then to you lips. 

You knew he was telling the truth, and your heart beat slowed back to normal at knowing that one day, you would both find your way back to one another. 

But until then, you hoped that the City of Angels would take care of yours.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 years after graduating High school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why not throw in more angst while I'm at it

“Do you have to go to California so soon?” Your friend, Ashley asked as you all sat at the loud bar. 

“Yeah Y/N, you JUST finished a big story and now you’re running off to do another one?” Came another voice, though you weren’t sure who. 

You got your degree in journalism 4 years ago and managed to get a job writing for the New York Times, where you’ve been working ever since. Your job had offered you to do a story in California and you couldn’t pass it up.

You were interviewing the dean of UCLA to find out what college was like for the students and why they had the highest “Happy student” rates in the country.  It wasn’t anything exciting, but it was something.

You subconsciously ran a finger over the ring on your left hand and sighed. 

Okay, so maybe California had a little more incentive for you than you were letting on and maybe you only agreed to it because it was the school Castiel had attended. But he would have graduated almost five years ago and you knew he was probably long gone. 

You had not spoken to Castiel in years, the two of you losing contact a little while after you started college. With the full schedules you both had and the time difference, it just wasn’t working out.  You were successful and that made you happy. Though you could tell that something was missing from your life.  Dating had been a bust, nobody had made you feel the way he had, and of course you never forgot his promise. 

“Y/N? Sweetheart what’s wrong?” Ashley asked, her hand resting on your arm in concern.  You darted your eyes to your friends surrounding you, all of them looking on with knowing glances. They all knew about Castiel and how you looked when you got to thinking about him. You cleared your throat and plastered on a smile. 

“I’m fine…I think this trip will be good for me, I need a break” you said, not sure if you truly believed your own words.

~

Your plane landed in L.A the next night and you sluggishly made your way to your hotel and fell onto the large bed. 

No matter how tired you were, you still had a fitful sleep, making it hard for you to not hit the snooze button on your alarm the next morning.

Making your way through your hotel room, you got dressed and got everything you needed for the day. You got your small notebook to take notes for your article, as well as a small recording device. 

You were set to arrive at the UCLA at 9 am, which gave you two hours to get breakfast and find your way through the traffic of Los Angeles.

You arrived at the school and were promptly sat in a large chair in what looked to be a waiting room. You had been offered every kind of beverage and breakfast food there was which you gratefully accepted, having skipped out on breakfast before you arrived. You only had to wait a few minutes before a slightly older woman approached you. She had a very casual demeanor to her which made you very comfortable. 

“Dean Mills, I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N from the New York times, her for our interview” You said, extending your hand for her to take. 

“Oh please, call me Jody” She said, giving your hand a firm squeeze and small shake before letting go. 

“Why don’t we begin with a tour?” Jody asked with a warm smile which you returned as you both made your way out the doors and onto the beautiful front lawn. 

The grass and sidewalks were filled with bustling students as they all walked to and from their early classes. More than one of them stopping Jody for a quick conversation before moving on. 

“So you seem pretty involved with the students” You stated, making a note of that factor. 

“Oh of course, it builds a level of trust that is definitely needed. We are helping mold them for bright futures after all” Jody said confidently. She showed you around the buildings, talking about each field of study and introducing a few teachers who you quickly interviewed before moving on. 

“How about you sit in on a few classes to really get the feel of things? I know the perfect class for you to observe” Jody asked you after leading you into the building of history and languages. You nodded eagerly, definitely ready to get off of your feet.

You turned the corner, running face first into a broad chest. You felt yourself falling over backwards, your arms grabbing the air for anything to grab on to. Your forearm was gripped tight, quickly steadying you back on your feet. 

“I am so sorry” A deep voice rumbled in front of you. You took a second to get your bearings again and saw dark hair below you, large hands picking up everything you had just dropped. 

“No, no, I should have been watching whe-” Your voice trailed off when he stood up, shocking blue eyes behind dark framed glasses met yours. 

You couldn’t tell whether your heart stopped or started beating so hard that you couldn’t hear it anymore. You could feel the blood run from your face as you stood before him again for the first time in 8 years. 

“Ah, Mr. Novak, I was just talking about you” Jody said. 

Your head whipped towards her. Of course she meant Castiel. Your life really had it out for you this time. And since when has Cas been a college professor? He had always wanted to go to school to teach young kids, not college level.

“This is Ms. Y/L/N, a reporter for the New York Times, here to interview me and some of the other staff members in order to get a feel for our lovely university” Jody stated, her eyes fixed on a group of older men a few yards away. 

“Ms. Y/L/N will be sitting in on all of your classes today if that’s okay with you. You’re in good hands” She added, laying a hand on your shoulder before walking briskly away towards the men and striking up a conversation. 

You watched her leave, silently trying to figure out what you were going to do now. Castiel cleared his throat behind you, getting your attention. You looked back towards him, taking in the features that had changed over the years. He had a small hole by the corner of his lip from where he had taken the lip piercing out. He had more scruff covering a sharper jaw than he had had the last time you had seen him. His shoulders were broader and good gracious did he fill out his suits better. You breathed a small laugh and bet yourself that he was wearing suspenders under his jacket. 

Castiel gave you a confused look, his head tilting to the side like he always did when he was confused. Clearing his throat again, he finally spoke back up. 

“If you’ll follow me Ms. Y/L/N” he said with a small smirk on his face. With that smirk, you were thrown back into the past, Castiel and you joking about everything, him making you laugh until you cried. You returned the smile and turned in the direction he had pointed out. 

“Lead the way Mr. Novak” You said, looking up at him through your eyelashes. 

He led you through the long hallways of the History and English wing of the building, passing many doorways until you reached the last one, the nameplate reading C. Novak. 

He unlocked the door and held it open for you to walk in. You took in the arching desks that took up most of the room, the comfortable chairs sitting behind them facing the front where a small wooden podium stood in front of a large white projector screen. The room was decorated in posters from around the world, each one depicting a different religion. 

The whole room felt very cozy and inviting. Castiel walked to the front of the room, unlocking another door and entering another room. You followed him inside, taking in the small office. A large desk took up most of the space, a few filing cabinets standing along the edge of the wall. Castiel dropped his bag onto the desk and sat down, flipping through a large stack of papers. He had been unusually quiet the whole walk here, and you could tell that he was just trying his hardest to not look in your direction. You felt hurt that he seemed to not even want to talk to you. You weren’t a kid anymore, you were 26 years old and you were going to act like the professional you were. You sat in the chair that was in front of his desk, placing your notebook and bag on it as well. 

“So if I am to sit in on your classes today Cas- Mr. Novak, then I guess I should start by asking a few introductory questions so I’m not entirely lost” You spewed, your eyes boring into him. 

His fingers had frozen on the papers as he looked up at you. Castiel’s eyes surprised you. You had expected him to look annoyed or maybe angry at the situation, but instead, he only looked scared and vulnerable. Your hard demeanor crumbled to the ground and all you wanted to do was fold him in your arms and kiss away that look. 

“Like what?” His gruff voice asked, making you shake yourself out of your thoughts. 

You slowly gripped your notebook that had your questions and flipped to them, trying your hardest to not look into his eyes any more than you had to. 

“How long have you been working here?” You began, skipping over a few of the questions that you already knew, like his name, age and college that he graduated from. 

“Two years” He answered quickly. You knew that there were a couple of years missing from when he’s graduated to when he started working and you tried to figure it out on your own.  

“I took a couple of years off to travel, jumping from continent to continent to see as much of the world as I could” He added at your pause. You nodded your head along, though a weird feeling crept into your chest. 

You had always known that Castiel had always wanted to travel, though you had always talked about doing so together. Had he even bothered to look for you before he left? You tried to push down your emotions and be as professional as you always were, though you couldn’t push them down quick enough. 

“Sounds like you were avoiding something” You spilled, regretting the words the second they escaped your lips. You chanced a look back at him and regretted that too. 

Castiel looked as though you had slapped him, a mix of emotions flashed across his face. Shock, anger, sadness. They were all there, wrapped up in the handsome features of the man you were still hopelessly in love with. You clenched your jaw after another moment of awkward silence and decided to move on. 

“What is it that you teach? And when are your students going to arrive?” You asked, hoping that your voice didn’t sound nearly as wrecked as you felt. 

“Religious Philosophy and in about five minutes” He said automatically, though he didn’t let another word slip passed your mouth. 

“Are you angry with me?” He asked, his eyes not leaving yours. Your breathing sped up and your mind raced, searching for the answer that was already passing your lips. 

“Yes” You said, not knowing if you truly meant it or not. 

“On average, how many students are in each class” You asked immediately after answering him. A fast pace of quid pro quo erupting through the both of you. 

“About 30” “Are you angry because I left for California all of those years ago?”

“No, I’m angry that you spent years traveling the world and not once did you bother to come to New York” 

“What is one word your students would likely use to describe you?” Your heart was racing and you begged your mouth to stop talking but nothing you were doing was working. Years of pent up questions and they were all pouring out of the both of you.

“You’d have to ask them; I don’t speak on behalf of my students” 

“What makes you think I didn’t go to New York?”

“Well I’d had some semblance of hope that you would at least seek me out, you know, keep that promise you made me” You scoffed, prying the ring off of your finger as you spoke. 

“Obviously I was wrong” You threw the ring at him before grabbing your things and storming out of his office. 

You wanted so badly to leave the stupid classroom, to leave this whole state behind you, but you were on the job and you needed to act like an adult and get your work done. 

You plopped down in a chair in the back of the room, and laid your head in your arms, willing the tears away. 

This was not how you had imagined your first meeting with Castiel to go after all these years. 

You wanted your happy ending and you were beginning to realize that maybe you had wasted all this time on the memory of the boy Castiel Novak used to be.

The students began to enter the classroom and you forced your head up, plastering a small smile on your face for each one that looked your way. Castiel didn’t come out of his office for another five minutes after the room filled up. He made eye contact with you and his eyes widened a bit before returning to normal and beginning his lesson. 

You watched as he talked animatedly about something, though you weren’t sure what it was. You were too distracted by the way he looked. How his suit jacket fit around his biceps when he would cross his arms, the focused jaw clenching he would do while he listened to his students answer his questions, how his pants fit low on his hips just like they always had. 

Though he looked like the Castiel you had grown up with, you convinced yourself that he wasn’t the same person. 

You sat through the rest of the class, silently groaning when you realized you had to sit through two more for the day. You busied yourself by taking notes. You noted how well the students latched onto every words that came out of Castiel’s mouth, how they looked at him with such admiration. That would make it into your article.

Every once in a while, you would catch Cas’s voice through your haze. He talked with such love for his studies and with such respect towards his students. 

How could he not be the same Castiel you had loved? He was everything you knew him to be. Smart, passionate, and confident. He was Cas. Your Cas. And God did you miss him. 

~

Castiel sat back in his chair as he held the ring you had just thrown at him in his fingers. 

Physically, the impact of the ring didn’t bother him, though emotionally he felt as though he had been hit by a truck when you threw it at him like it had hurt you. 

He then realized that it had done just that. The symbol of his love for you seemed like nothing now. He was such an idiot. 

Of course you’d be hurt that he hadn’t reached out to you while he was in New York. Though he knew the reason why, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell you that he HAD found you in New York. 

He HAD wanted to talk to you, to tell you that he still loved you and that he wanted to travel the world with him. But as he saw you sitting there, laughing with your friends in the restaurant he had found you in, he just couldn’t. He saw that you were happy. You were happy with your life in New York and he didn’t want to be the person to take all of that away from you.

Castiel could hear his students entering the classroom, full of friendly conversation and happy laughter. He normally loves to hear his students’ happiness, though right now, it felt as though his life had come crumbling down around him in the matter of about forty-five minutes. 

After the door to his classroom closed without it being opened again for at least a few minutes, he finally gathered the courage to get out of his office and begin his day, slipping your ring into his pocket. 

Seeing your eyes from across the room threw him more than he cared to admit, but he played it off as best as he could. He couldn’t help the small glances that he would throw your way, or how his heart raced every time he caught you looking at him. 

Nothing had changed, you were still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago and he knew he had to make this up to you. 

~

The second class of the day came and went and soon, you were out of the room, rushing around while the students all ate lunch. You couldn’t keep still, knowing that you had to go back into Castiel’s classroom made you jittery. 

You wanted to apologize, to talk to him so you could understand what exactly had happened between the two of you. You rubbed a finger over your left hand, sighing as you felt naked without your ring. 

Your regretted throwing it at Castiel, seeing his broken expression had only made your heart sink. Walking around the halls, you rounded the corner, almost running into yet another person. You really needed to pay attention to where you were going. 

“Woah there pretty lady” The man said. 

He was just a little taller than you, dressed in a nice dress shirt and slacks. He froze for a second, squinting at you as his face inched closer. He pulled back quickly, a confused expression on his face. 

“Do I know you?” He asked, his whisky colored eyed bright in the ray of sunlight that shone on the two of you through the window. 

You searched his face, looking for any source of recognition but found none.

 “I don’t think so…” You mumbled, not really in the mood to be talking to anybody. The man held out a hand, a bright smile on his lips. 

“Gabriel Barnes, teacher of all things literature” He said, his jaunty attitude lifting a corner of your mouth in a small smile. You took his hand in yours and shook. 

“Y/F/N Y/L/N, reporter for the New York Times” You said. You felt Gabriel tense for a second before releasing your hand with wide eyes. 

“Y/F/N Y/L/N?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing together as you shook your head if affirmation, unsure of what was going on. 

“Aha! I knew that I recognized you!” Gabriel near shouted, causing you and several passing students to jump back at his sudden change of voice.

 You looked at him in confusion, still not sure what he was talking about. You waited a few seconds for him to regain his cool attitude before he spoke up again. 

“I mean, I don’t KNOW you, but I know of you” He said, looking your way as though that explained everything. 

You raised and annoyed eyebrow at him and he huffed out a laugh. 

“Novak’s right, you are cute when you get angry” Gabriel said and your face erupted in surprise. 

“Oh” 

Oh. 

“You must be a friend of Cas” You said, trying not to sound as nervous as you felt. 

What if Castiel had talked bad about you to this man? What if he blamed you for everything? What if- 

“How did you recognize my face if we’ve never met?” You asked. 

You weren’t sure where that question came from, but you were glad it fell from your lips. Gabriel looked shocked for a second before looking like you had just asked him the most confusing question ever. 

“He keeps a picture of you and his sister in his wallet, told me all about you and how he plans on marrying you one day” Your heart stopped and your chest felt too tight, Gabriel continued to talk and you forced yourself to listen. 

“Sad really, that he went all the way to New York just to puss out when he saw you again, though he always says how much he regrets not asking you to go to Europe with him, says you would have really liked it” 

You toned the man in front of you out then. 

A million thoughts ran through your head, making you feel like you were about to burst at the seams. 

Castiel talked about you. 

Castiel told people that he still wanted you, still wanted a life with you. Even after all these years apart. 

Castiel loved you and you loved him and everything was going to be okay. 

You muttered a polite goodbye to Gabriel in the middle of his talking before turning and taking off back down the hallway to Castiel’s classroom. 

You didn’t listen to Gabriel when he tried to keep you from leaving. You didn’t hear the warning coming from his mouth as he tried to catch up to you as you ran down the hallway. You didn’t hear the voices behind Castiel’s door before you flung it open, Gabriel forcing himself to stop behind you, hands on your shoulders, ushering you away from the doorway. 

But not before you got an eye full of the dark haired woman seated in Castiel’s lap, her arms thrown around his neck as she leaned in to kiss him. 

You felt hands pulling you away from the door but you didn’t move, you couldn’t. Your feet refuse to listen to you. 

The girl rose from Castiel’s lap, an embarrassed smile on her flushed face. You glanced back at Cas, noticing his bright red tint to his cheeks, his eyes stuck on you. You saw his throat jump as he swallowed hard. 

“Hey Gabe, what are you doing here?” She asked, her face pinched as though she was scolding Gabriel with that question. 

It was silent for a second before Gabriel cleared his throat, clearly feeling the awkward tension between you and Castiel. 

“Ava,” He said before landing his hands on your shoulders “this is Veronika Duboff, a foreign exchange student here visiting the school and I’m showing her around, she just happen to get away from me and wandered into this room by accident, sorry for the disturbance” Gabriel said, the lie rolling easily off his tongue. 

You wanted to scream the truth at this woman, you wanted to yell at her and tell her to get her hands off the man you loved. But every time you opened your mouth to speak, your words got stuck in your throat. 

“Duboff? Sounds Russian. Are you Russian?” Ava asked, her voice becoming louder and slower. Damn did that make you mad, but you nodded your head anyway, deciding to go along with it. 

“Cas, baby, you speak Russian, talk to her!” 

Shit. 

“I don’t think-” Cas started to say before Ava squeezed his hand and pulled him up from his seat with a hard tug. 

Castiel stumbled a little towards you, his face looking as apologetic as you’ve ever seen on another person. Castiel took another second to speak, his eyes hardening as if he was trying to say something with them. 

“Привет , мне нужно поговорить с вами об этом и объяснить, как я до сих пор полностью в любви с вами . Но я знаю, что ты меня не понимаешь …” He said, his deep gravely voice sending shivers through you. You sucked in a surprised breath as a memory hit you. 

 

_“Privet, Rad vstreche” You pronounced in a bored tone. Castiel’s bright smile lifted your spirits only a little._

_“Good, and what does that mean again?” He asked, his hands moving over the kitchen table as he got the table ready for his grandparent’s visit._

_You sighed and laid your head in your hand. Castiel had been teaching you basic Russian for a week now and you were tired of it._

_“Hi, nice to meet you…Cas everything’s going to be fine” You tried to ease his nerves, knowing it was futile. You knew how his grandparents were, knowing Anna for years meant that you had met them a couple of times and that they hated pretty much anyone that the siblings dated; their approval meant a lot to Castiel._

_You were determined to get them to like you, even if it took a little extra Russian lessons from Anna to learn what you really wanted to say to them._

_“I don’t know why I have to learn that anyway, they already know me and they like me-” Castiel interrupted with an eyeroll and you smirked at him._

_“Yeah but we weren’t dating then, they may not approve” You went to hug him, but he jumped away from you at the sound of the doorbell._

_Mrs. Novak answered the door and greeted her parents before leading them into the dining room where you stood with a nervous Castiel. You were tired of watching him like this, you needed his nerves to calm immediately._

_You conversed with Mr. Novak the day before, telling him what it was you wanted to say to Castiel’s grandparents. He had laughed and told you it was perfect. You always liked Castiel’s father._

_Castiel walked up to his grandparents, throwing his arms around his grandmother before shaking hands with his grandfather. He was saying something to them that you roughly translated to “You remember Y/N..”_

_As he waved a hand toward you. His grandparents smiled fondly at you and moved closer to give you hugs as well. After the formalities, you decided to just go for it. Holding his grandmother at arms lengths, you began your practiced words._

_“Это так приятно видеть вас снова . Я знаю только то, что я говорю , потому что Кастиэль научил меня русский , так что бы уменьшить удар, который мы знакомства с предприятием” (It is so nice to see you again. I only know what I’m saying because Castiel taught me Russian so it would lessen the blow that we are dating now)._

_You looked towards Castiel’s mortified face before you were distracted by a crushing hug._

_The older woman was rambling in her native language and you couldn’t understand a word of it, but when she pulled you away, she had a bright smile on her face that let you know that it was okay._

_After a while, you and Castiel found yourselves alone in the dining room again, his lips crashing against yours._

_“What did she say to me?” You asked after breaking away. Castiel let out a small laugh, his smile infectious._

_“Something along the lines of how glad she is that I got my head out of my ass and asked you out already” You giggled into his neck and let out a small sigh._

_“I’m glad you got your head out of your ass and asked me out too” You whispered_. 

 

Castiel didn’t think you understood him. But you did. He was the reason you decided to take Russian courses in college. You wouldn’t consider yourself fluent, but you could understand most things. 

 _“Hi, I need to talk to you about this and explain how I’m still completely in love with you. But I know you don’t understand me…”_ His words rang through your head, planting themselves in every corner. 

You felt yourself smiling and bit your lip while looking down at the ground shyly. Only a few second had passed, but in those seconds, you felt like your world had tilted back to its original axis. 

“Я до сих пор влюблен в тебя слишком” (I’m still in love with you too) You said, your voice strong and sure. 

Castiel’s eyes widened in shock at your declaration, or maybe it was the fact that you understood him, either way, you offered him a soft smile and finally felt like you could move again. 

You turned towards an impressed looking Gabriel and walked out of the room. 

“Glad I went with Russian instead of Spanish huh?” He asked, clearly amused. You allowed yourself to laugh at him before frowning and stopping when you were a good distance from Castiel’s room.

 “Why did you lie about my name anyway?” You asked. 

Gabriel sighed and looked around before grabbing your arm and leading you down the hall and into a room labeled G. Barnes. He sat at his desk and began to speak, keeping his tone casual. 

“Ava teaches Physics here and she took an interest in Cassie there a few months ago” He began. 

You took the seat across from his desk, figuring that this would be a long story. You wondered if all of Gabriel’s stories were this long. 

“Well, thing is, everybody here knows about you. Seriously, he talks about you to anyone that will listen; annoying really” That fact made your heart clench and you could feel yourself smiling like an idiot. 

“Well Ava’s taken it as a sort of…challenge” Your smile slipped away and was replaced by tight lips and a clenched jaw. 

How dare she, Castiel isn’t a conquest. He’s a wonderfully amazing man who deserves someone who loves everything about him. He deserves you. 

Okay, maybe you were being a little biased because you were angry, but you really couldn’t care at the moment. 

“Hence, why I used the fake name, she would have known it was you immediately, just like I did” He finished, crossing his arms and smiling like he was the cleverest person on the planet. 

You rolled your eyes but smirked, you could understand why Castiel was friends with him, he really seemed like a good guy. 

Gabriel glanced at his watch and stood. “Cas has another class starting in a few minutes, aren’t you supposed to be there?” He asked while opening the door for you to step out. You thanked him and turned to walk back down the hallway, this time, not feeling dread run through you. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end everyone

The class was full of students when you entered for the final class of the day, you had the outline for your article finished and you were supposed to leave later that night, but there was no way you were doing that until you fixed everything. 

Over 20 pairs of eyes locked on you as you walked in, none of them as bright as the blue ones in the front of the room. You gave Castiel a small smile that captured the multiple apologies that you owed him and sat in the first seat you came to. 

A few seconds passed before Cas continued his final lecture for the day, giving you time to think. You had so much you needed to tell him, so much you needed to hear from him.

You waited in your seat as the final students filed out of the classroom and into the halls. 

Castiel stood by his podium, looking anywhere but you as he busied himself. You stood, holding your breath and walked towards him, not finding any words to say in that moment. 

His blue eyes met yours and without thinking, you crashed your lips to his, letting yourself get lost in the familiar feel of Cas against you. 

He had changed so much over the years, but in a way he was exactly the same. Castiel tensed at the first press of your lips against his, but immediately responded eagerly, gripping your hip with one hand while the other tangled in your hair, pulling you impossibly closer to him. 

“I’m so sorry Cas, I just want you…I need you” You said, still unable to form a full explanation. 

“No, I should be apologizing, I had every chance to contact you but I was just scared” He muttered between kisses, his tongue pushing past your lips while he groaned softly. 

“Scared of what?” You asked, pulling away, resting your forehead against his. Cas’s eyes were blown with lust as he looked back at you. 

“Scared you’d found something better than what I could give you” He admitted, his voice cracking slightly in a way that broke your heart. You brought a hand up to cup his cheek, pecking his lips again. 

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted Castiel, you’ve always been more than enough for me” You whispered against his mouth. You had no idea that he felt like this for years, but you were determined to fix it, no matter how long it took. 

You peppered kisses along his jawline, whispering words of love along the way. The sound of a throat clearing behind you startled you both apart. 

“I see you two have made up” Gabriel’s voice rang out in the quiet room. Castiel huffed a sigh and laid his head in your shoulder, clearly annoyed with his friend’s terrible timing. 

“How about we all go out for dinner tonight, get to know each other better” Gabriel offered and you jumped back even further. 

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked, reaching out for you with a concerned look. 

“I just…I can’t. I have a plane to catch in like-” You checked the clock on the wall, seeing that it was 3pm. “An hour…” You said sadly, your eyes meeting Cas’s again, seeing that he was clearly upset at the news as well. 

“I’ll take you” He said, his hands entwining with yours as he led you out the door. 

You waved to Gabriel, making promises of staying in touch as he handed you his number. You collected your things, Castiel constantly keeping some kind of contact with you as though if he didn’t, all of this would fizzle away.

The drive to the airport was silent, but not awkward. It was full of apprehension and nerves. The two of you scared of what the future held, but neither one willing to say their thoughts out loud. 

All too soon you had your bags checked in and were heading towards security. Castiel couldn’t go past that point, so you veered off to the side before you got there. 

Cas stood in front of you, his hands in his pockets with his head lowered. You raised a hand, instinct taking over as you ran your fingers through his hair, a motion that always calmed his nerves when you were younger. Cas let out a small sigh and closed his eyes at the contact. 

“I don’t want you to go” He whispered. Though he said it out loud, you knew he was talking more to himself than he was to you. His blue eyes opened as he looks at you hesitantly. Giving him a smile, you pressed your lips to his, allowing every emotion you couldn’t put into words drain into it.

This kiss wasn’t a goodbye. It was full of promise and a future. You and Castiel would be okay because he loved you and you loved him and for now, that’s all that mattered.

~

The first few months after you returned to your normal life were the hardest. You talked to Castiel every day, though your busy schedules and time difference made it difficult. 

You lost quite a bit of sleep due to staying up late while you waited for him to be done with his work, but you didn’t mind. Talking to him was the highlight of your day, and he assured you he felt the same. Most of the calls were simply to just talk about each other’s day, joking about the funny things and expressing your frustrations about the bad things. You hadn’t brought up the topic of a relationship yet, still afraid of the uncertainty of it all. But that didn’t stop Cas from bringing it up.

You had just finished eating dinner and had dialed Castiel immediately to see how his day was, you had mastered the 3-hour time difference in these past few months. You didn’t even get to open your mouth before he said something.

“Hey, I have a question” He said through the receiver.

“What is your question?” You asked with a smile, plopping down on the couch. It was a Friday night and you didn’t have to wait for Cas to get off of work since it was summertime now and schools were out.

“I love you” He answered and you smiled harder.

“That’s not a question” You whispered, suddenly feeling as though your breath has left your body. Castiel had that effect on you, always making your heart clench with a simple sentence.

“Hm..I suppose you’re right” He paused for a moment before continuing. 

“Where are you right now?” He asked, his voice getting deeper, making a shiver run through you. He had always had a deep voice, even when you were teenagers but damn…this was a new level of hot. 

“I’m in my apartment, sitting on the couch” You answered as you sank deeper into the plush below you. 

“Think you can do me a favor?” He asked, making your eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. 

“Uh…Sure?” You muttered, unsure of what he was doing. 

“I want you to touch yourself for me”

oh.

“Think you can do that?” He asked and you could hear the fucker smirk. Phone sex. Cool, you could do this. 

You’d been pent up for months, so hell yeah you could do that for him.

You let your hands run down your chest before sitting up and pulling off your shirt and bra. The cool air hitting your nipples and making you shiver. 

“What are you doing?” Castiel asked when you returned the phone to your ear. 

“Getting more comfortable” you said, tweaking one of your nipples and letting out a small moan. You could hear Castiel’s sharp intake of breath and you smirked. 

“Talk to me, baby. I want you to tell me everything you’re doing” you whimpered at the desperate tone in his voice. God that was hot. You let your hands slide down to the hem of your jeans, making quick work of the buttons and throwing them away from you. You ran a finger over your slick folds and found an easy rhythm. 

“My fingers are rubbing over my clit, slowly, just like how you always did it” Cas groaned through the phone and you sped up your ministrations, finding that perfect spot that never failed to get you there. You breathed Cas’s name as you felt your orgasm rapidly approaching. 

“God Cas, I…I want..”

“What do you want, baby?“ Castiel’s breathless voice came across and you imagined that it was his hands on you, his voice breathing right into your ear. 

"I want you” you moaned, feeling your release slam into you.

“I want to hear you, don’t hold back, please baby” Castiel’s breathless voice asked and you weren’t really in any position to object. 

You screamed Castiel’s name as your release washed over you. Just as you were coming down, there was a knock on the door. You hid your face in your hands, imagining your crotchety neighbor coming to tell you that you were being too loud…again. 

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asked with a small huff of laughter. You sighed and rolled off the couch, another knock coming from the door. 

“Someone’s at the door” you huffed as you pulled on your pants and threw your shirt over your head, foregoing your bra. 

“Well then I think you should answer it…” He said, his voice near a whisper. You frowned as you made your way to the front door. 

“Why do you sound like that?” You asked, pulling open the door and freezing. 

“Because I’m about to see the woman I love for the first time in months” Castiel said as he stood in front of you, his blue eyes dark with want. 

You were vaguely aware of your phone slipping from your fingers and falling to the floor as you flung yourself into Cas’s arms, pressing kisses to his lips while he walked you back into your apartment, kicking the door closed with his foot. 

There would be questions later, but now, you needed him. You felt the hardness beneath his pants and Castiel moaned as you ground yourself onto it. 

Your back hit the wall, giving you the chance to pull back and look at him. His eyes were blown with lust and a flush covered his skin. Your hands ran through his hair to tousle it more, earning a low growl from the back of his throat before he attacked your neck with sucking kisses. 

You didn’t care what marks he left on you, any reminder of this night was gladly welcomed. You squirmed in his arms until he let you down, confusion covering his face. 

You gave him a mischievous smile before darting down the hallway and into the bedroom, shedding your shirt along the way. Castiel’s footsteps followed behind you and you jumped onto the bed, rolling onto your back just in time for him to jump on top of you, trapping your head between his hands and planting a lung burning kiss to your smiling lips. 

Castiel chuckled into the kiss, sitting up to shed his own shirt before gripping the hem of your pants and pulling them away. Your heart warmed at the bright smile on his face and you kissed him again, this time slow and full of love. Castiel kissed down your neck, sucking bruises to your collarbone before moving on. 

Your small laughter turning to moans as his mouth latched onto your nipple, running his tongue over it and sucking lightly. He placed more kisses to your stomach and hips, passing over where you needed him and kissing your inner thighs, sucking bruises into them as well. 

By the time he ran his tongue up your folds, you were a writhing mess, screaming out as his fingers and mouth worked you towards your second orgasm of the night. 

Castiel kissed back up your body, letting you calm down a bit before guiding himself to your entrance. It’s been years since you got to have him like this and the feeling overwhelmed you. 

Castiel let out a loud groan as he bottomed out, his arms running down yours until his hands found your fist clenched into the sheets. He placed calming kisses to your lips until you released the sheets, your hands entwining with his as he pinned them above your head. 

“Please Cas…Move” you breathed, placing another kiss to his lips. Castiel pulled almost all the way out before plunging back in. His fingers tightened their grip on yours while he pumped in and out. His lips finding yours. His hips snapping against you. 

Your whole body felt as tight as a coil and when Castiel’s hand let go of yours and snaked between your bodies to rub at your clit, you felt the tightness snap. 

Castiel grunted his release into you, his hips not stilling for a few more thrusts. Your eyes watered at your sensitivity as he kept hitting your G-spot but there was no way you were about to tell him to stop. Sucking one last mark to your shoulder, Castiel pulled out of you and rolled to his side, facing you.

You stared at the ceiling for a few moments before breaking out into a wide grin. You turned on your side, your eyes drooping slightly from your lack of sleep. Looking into Cas’s eyes, you felt a calm settle over you and you knew what it was. You didn’t need to worry about whether or not you would move to California or if Castiel would move to New York, you knew that as long as you were together, you were home.

~

You awoke to the scent of breakfast being cooked from the kitchen. You sleepily stuck a hand out to the other side of the bed, finding that it was still slightly warm, meaning Cas hadn’t been out of bed for very long. 

Throwing your legs over the edge of the bed, a wide smile on your face as you thought about the previous night. You slipped a hoodie over your head and padded into your kitchen. 

Seeing Castiel cooking in your kitchen was like a dream. His tattooed wings flexing under the new muscle tone that he had acquired after all these years. A new picture of white roses spread across his right hip. 

“You got a new one?” You asked from the door, making him start in his place. He turned around, presenting a plate of food and placing it on the table before you. 

“Yeah…the roses” He said with a wide smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners, making you want to kiss him silly. 

“Purity, innocence…The favorite flower of the woman I’ve loved my whole life…” He muttered under his breath. You looked up at him in shock, a few moments passing before you jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing along his face, his laughter bubbling out of him.

After the two of you had finished breakfast, you were cuddled in your bed again, reminiscing on old memories and laughing like old times. As a comfortable silence passed over you, you remembered to ask him what he was really even doing here. Castiel gave you a sheepish smile before he answered. 

“I quit my job” You sat up in the bed, looking down at him in shock. 

“NYU offered me a job” Castiel quickly added at your shocked face. It took you a second to realize what he had said and what it meant for the two of you. Needless to say, neither of you left the bed for the rest of the day.

~

“So I’ve been thinking…” You started, sitting in front of Castiel as he graded papers on the kitchen table. 

It had been months since he had moved in and you were both in good places in both your jobs and relationship. Being with Castiel was as easy as breathing and you wondered how you survived on your own all this time.

“That’s dangerous” Castiel chuckled without looking up from his stack of papers. You reached over to grab a couple of grapes he had beside him, throwing one at his head as you ate another. 

“I’ve been thinking we should go to Kansas and see your family” You said. Castiel stopped what he was doing and looked at you above the rim of his glasses.

 _‘He looks like such a nerd…damn I love him_ ’ You thought to yourself, resting your head in your hand to shamelessly admire the man in front of you. 

“You really want to do that?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows at you in surprise. 

“Of course I do…I miss Anna and Samandriel. Plus, I think it’ll do us good to have a weekend getaway, we’ve both been really busy and we can just take the weekend to hang out, catch up with everyone” You rambled. 

Castiel paused for a moment before nodding his head once. 

“Okay, we’ll leave Friday” He said, turning back to his papers. 

You jumped from your chair, racing around the table to his side and placing sloppy kisses to his face, while he playfully tried pushing you off until he gave up, gripping you tightly and walking you into the bedroom and making it his personal goal to wake up the neighbors.

~

“Anna!” You squealed as the red head flung open the door of her childhood home. 

Anna wrapped her arms around you and lead the way into the familiar living room, Castiel chuckling as he followed behind you and Anna. You were met with 6 other pairs of eyes, all of which wore matching smiles. 

“Y/N, darling, so good to see you again!” Castiel’s parents said as they moved to hug both you and Castiel. 

They offered to make you both food after your long flight and disappeared into the kitchen just as quickly as you had entered the living room. You were used to his parent’s inability to engage in small talk, no matter how long it had been since they’ve seen someone. 

You turned to face the others in the room, running to hug Samandriel. 

Cas had told you that he was now a teacher at Kansas state, choosing to stay closer to home rather than move away like Cas had. 

A warm hand landed on your arm and you turned around, looking up what seemed like another 5 feet and was met with bright hazel eyes and long shaggy hair.

 “Good to see you again Y/N” he said and laughed when you gave him a questioning look. You saw the dimples in his face at his smile and it hit you. 

“Sam?!” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around his waist before holding him at arm’s length. 

“My god you got big…” You said, earning a chuckle from the others in the room. As you pulled back, Sam wrapped an arm around a tall blonde who you instantly recognized. 

“You and Jess?” You asked incredulously, smiling as you remembered how they had always harbored secret crushes on each other. 

“Finally” You said, rolling your eyes with a fond smile. A throat cleared beside you and you turned to look into familiar green eyes. 

“Dean…” You breathed. You didn’t have any feelings left for him, but you also weren’t blind. The man was hot. 

“Damn…” You huffed, making him laugh. 

“C’mere” He said, offering his arms to you. 

You gladly hugged him and the 9 of you settled into the couch to catch up. 

Sam had become a pretty well-known lawyer while Jess was working as a nurse at the local hospital. They were getting married in November and asked you to come back for it if you could. 

Samandriel had just picked up an extra History class at KSU which he was very excited about. 

Anna had worked up the ladder and became a big time publisher, and Dean, he was now as the top mechanic in Kansas and though he was currently single, he assured you that he was happy, which was all you cared about.

You stayed through lunch and well into the evening. Dean, Sam and Jess all leaving right after dinner, promising to come back over the next day. Samandriel was taking a nap on the couch and you ruffled his hair as you walked by. Castiel had walked off an hour or so ago and you wondered where he had gone.

“Have you seen Cas? I can’t find him anywhere” you asked Anna as she cleaned the dishes from dinner. She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, her bright red hair falling in front of her face. 

“I think I saw him go out back” she said, drying her hands on a towel before turning to face you, a grin on her pink lips. You tilted your head in confusion before thanking her and moving to the back door. 

The sun had just begun to set, sending bright pinks and purples across the sky. You looked out across the deck, not seeing Castiel. You turned to go back into the house, only to see Anna shutting and locking the door behind you. Deciding to go along with it, you took the stairs down to the backyard and froze.  


Lights lined a path to the large tree, finding twinkling lights woven in the branches. A piece of paper was nailed to the trunk and when you got closer, you could make out what it read. 

“Climb on up”

You smiled to yourself and looked up into the brightly lit tree that you had spent so many days and nights in during your childhood. You took ahold of the first branch and hauled yourself up, grunting at not having done so in years. You saw a pair of dangling feet and a hand appeared in front of your face. You looked above you and met Castiel’s smiling face. Gripping his hand, he hauled you up the rest of the way. 

“Hello beautiful” he said as you settle yourself on the branch beside him and faced his direction, your knees bumping into each other. He was wearing your favorite black button up and an old pair of faded jeans. His hair was ruffled in the way that you loved and there was a small leaf stuck in it. 

“Hey handsome” you chuckled as you plucked the leaf out. Cas grabbed your hand and kissed your palm before letting your hands rest in his lap, his face coming closer to yours to peck your lips. You smiled into the kiss, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

 “So what’s all this about?” You asked when you pulled away, looking around you again. The sky had gone dark by now, making the lights around you seem brighter. Castiel let out a small happy sigh as he watched you and squeezed your hands. 

“Well, I’m just fulfilling another promise to you …” He said, his bright eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. He didn’t give you another chance to respond before he planted another kiss to your lips. You closed your eyes as your lips melded with his, your hands sliding along his thighs. 

You didn’t notice him fishing into his pocket, nor did you see him opening the small box. Cas’s hand came up to your cheek before brushing your hair back behind your ear. 

“Marry me” he whispered against your mouth. You pulled back to look into his eyes, finding nothing but seriousness. Looking down, you finally saw the ring her was holding, the lights reflecting off of it in a way that made it shimmer. 

“Cas…” You whispered, looking back up at him, feeling tears come to your eyes. You saw his throat bob as he swallowed down his nerves. 

“So?” He asked, his voice sounding a bit higher than you were used to. 

“Yes! Of course Cas” You exclaimed, throwing yourself into his arms, your heart jumping out of your chest as Castiel lost his balance on the branch, throwing his arms out to catch the both of you and sit upright again, his deep laughter rumbling through you as he wrapped his strong arms around you.

 He buried his face in your neck, nuzzling the sensitive spot below your ear. You could feel his heartbeat beating against yours as you let the tears fall free. 

Castiel pulled away and took your hand in his again, a huge smile lighting up his face. He slipped the ring on your finger, directly on top of the promise ring he had given you all those years ago. In that moment, as you looked into his deep blue eyes as he looked into your Y/E/C ones, you knew that even though you’d know Castiel for years, your lives were just beginning.


End file.
